Page 56 of An Island in the Sun

‘Is that my parents?’ Raff asked, slicking a hand through his damp hair.

‘Yeah. I forgot to message them yesterday. Your mum scheduled the days for me to check in with them.’ Tabitha picked up her coffee and blew on it.

‘Huh, figures. She’s always been a control freak – everyone has to revolve around her.’

‘I don’t really mind. She’s not the first owner to request me to check in with them.’

‘The cleaner hasn’t said anything to them?’

‘Dolores said she was going to tell your mum she was ill and didn’t come round.’ Tabitha looked across the table at Raff, trying her hardest to focus on his face rather than his water-beaded chest. ‘It’s going to be difficult not telling them the truth when they get back, you know, about you, about what really happened to Fudge. I don’t like the thought of lying to them.’

‘You won’t technically be lying, just omitting a few things.’ He looked at her in a way she couldn’t quite figure out; was there amusement there or a hint of sadness? ‘I’ll be gone before they get back – there will be no trace of me.’

Tabitha assumed he was trying to reassure her, but his words left her feeling empty. In a little over a week, Tabitha’s time on Madeira would be over, and Raff would be exiting her life as quickly as he’d appeared. She needed to sift through her emotions and work out how she really felt about, well, everything. She’d been putting it off for too long, spending the last twelve months in denial, pushing her feelings to the back of her mind as she bounced from place to place, never staying long enough to connect with anyone other than her four-legged friends. Here her experience had been completely different. Raff would be hard to walk away from, yet she realised it would be him walking away from her. Well, not technically her, he would leave Madeira before she did, to get on with his life, the same way she needed to get on with hers.

Tabitha sipped her hot coffee. ‘I wasn’t completely truthful when I said last night that it had never crossed my mind that Ollie and I could be more than just friends.’

‘Where did that come from?’ Raff laughed.

Tabitha shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about a lot of things. I loved him to bits – I mean as a friend – but, admittedly, there were times when I noticed just how damn attractive he was.’

‘Was?’

‘Oh, well, he still is, but I don’t fancy him. Not any longer. And I didn’t really back then. I appreciated his good looks, but it was his friendship I treasured. There were times when I wondered if we could take our relationship from friends to lovers without damaging it. I was being honest with you, though, about my one and only kiss with him turning out to be a big turn-off.’

‘For you,’ Raff said with a smirk. ‘Once again, I’ll stress it was mostly definitely not how he felt.’

‘Maybe not, but I’m sure he’s over it now. I’m pretty certain we’ll never be able to return to having as good a friendship as we used to have.’ A light breeze swayed the leaves of the banana plant behind Raff. Everything about the garden was soothing, sun drenched and tropical, the perfect combination of various greens with an occasional pop of colour. Tabitha put her coffee mug down. ‘What about you and Mai? How are you going to feel seeing her getting married?’

‘I’m actually really happy for her.’

‘You are?’

‘We were friends and it was only my mistaken belief that there could be something more that made me attempt anything. To tell you the truth, it’s a relief knowing that she’s with someone and happy. We were never best friends like you and Ollie, but we’ve managed to stay in touch over the years. Knowing she’s comfortable enough to invite me to her wedding, that’s good enough for me.’

It was suddenly clear to Tabitha that they were both going through a similar experience, confronting people from their past and finding a way to move on without holding a grudge. ‘You’ve made peace with the fact that you’re just friends then and that’s all it’s ever going to be?’

‘Yep, 100 per cent. I got over being rejected a long time ago, but her getting married is closure. My life mostly feels topsy-turvy, mainly to do with my relationships, so to know absolutely where I stand with her is a good thing and much needed.’

‘Do you mean romantic relationships or the relationship you have with your parents?’ Tabitha asked gently.

‘Both. My relationship with my parents has been strained since we moved here. Romantically, it’s a bit of a shitshow too. Me and my ex wanted such different things, and, to be truthful, it’s been a bit like that with every girlfriend, which makes me think either I’m the problem or I go for the wrong type.’ He looked sheepishly at her. ‘I should be a recluse, live by myself in the middle of nowhere with just a dog or two for company.’ He reached down and scratched Bailey behind his ears.

‘I’ve often thought that might be the best thing for me too…’ Tabitha gazed across the garden to the smudge of deep blue ocean merging with the paler sky. ‘But then I’m not sure if I could cut it living so far from anywhere. I like the grit and pulse of city living, but I’ve been spoilt over the last year staying in the heart of Paris and Barcelona.’

‘It’s the same as anything, when you live in the country you crave the things you’re missing from city living and vice versa. I wonder if there is such a thing as a perfect place?’

‘My parents have found it.’

‘They have?’

‘A restored cottage in the Devon countryside with a patch of land where they grow veg and have chickens, which also happens to be within driving distance of beaches and a town with lots going on.’ Tabitha shrugged. ‘The best of everything. Although, to be fair, they did spend four decades moving from country to country for Dad’s job, so they lived in enough places to figure out what they wanted. I don’t think I’ve done that yet.’

‘You’ve not travelled enough?’

‘I’m not sure I’ll ever not want to travel.’

‘I feel the same, but I also want to put down roots, you know. Find somewhere that I feel at home.’

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