Page 70 of Tobias

“We’ve been doing whatever we want, sneaking around and stuff, but I think we should stop that.”

There, I said it. Simple enough.

She huffs out a laugh. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah. I’ve been thinking about it, and I feel kind of bad disrespecting our parents like this.”

“Since when do you care what they think?” she asks with narrowed eyes.

“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. The truth is, I always have, I guess, and I don’t know what has made her think I don’t. Maybe going along with it made her assume I didn’t?

“Are you like… breaking up with me?”

Yes. Yes, I am.

Here’s my opportunity to answer her. To tell her the truth about everything.

“No,” I blurt out too quickly. My heart picks up and I hate myself for answering that way. I should have said yes. I should tell her the truth, that I’m attracted to men and though I love her, I don’t think I’ll ever truly be happy with her. But… I can’t hurt her like that. Not when she’s looking at me the way she is. “The wedding is still very much on, I just think we need to cool things down a little, that’s all.”

“Okay, as long as you’re sure…”

“I am,” I sayadamantly.

Idiot. Take the open!

But I don’t. She smiles, leaning against me again, and the conversation is over.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Tobias

There is a little over a week before Christmas and I’m dreading it more than I ever have before. Christmas has been hard since my father died. The way he loved the holidays annoyed a lot of people, especially my family, but it isn’t just missing him that’s making it hard this year. It’s the way Thanksgiving went with my mother and sister. The way my sister hasn’t laid off at all, and instead is going harder at me. I’m on the verge of exploding if she doesn’t back off. Things have never been this bad before.

I told myself I wouldn’t tell her what our mother did because she’d never feel the way I do. Or she’ll think I’m lying. Either way, it’ll make me look at her differently. I fear it’ll make me hate her. It’s bad enough I’m hardly hanging on to loving her solely because she’s my sister. Seeing her react to what happened to our father would destroy me in ways I’m not ready to handle.

I’ve been so busy with work the last week, I haven’t had time to see Theo. We’ve texted all week and even spoke on the phone a few times. I’m heading over to his house shortly, and to say I’m excited is an understatement. It’s weird that I’m looking forward to spending time with him. That I, dare I say, miss him? It’s a strange thought, but I don’t hate it. Though, maybe my excitement is over meeting this dog he got. That was a random thing that happened. I wasn’t expecting to receive a ton of photos of a dog followed by texts telling me that hedid a thingand adopted an animal. She’s very sweet. I love dogs. Maybe if I were home more often, I’d get one. I told him I was glad he chose her and not a cat, since I’m allergic. He told me he doesn’t like cats anyway—their claws are too sharp. It made me laugh. Maybe if I ever pull my head out of my ass and choose to have a family, a dog will be a part of that.

I dress in a casual pair of khaki joggers and a white thermal and order the car before fixing my hair. When I get the alert that the car has arrived, I grab the bottle of whiskey I bought for tonight and head out. Twenty minutes later, I’m walking up Theo’s front steps and knocking on his door. I’m surprised when I don’t hear barking from inside. The door opens, and they both greet me. Theo with a smile, and Biscuit with a wagging tail.

“Hey, girl,” I say, dropping to my knees the moment I’m inside. I put the bottle on the ground beside me and scratch her neck. She licks my face and practically sits on my lap.

“I think she likes you,” Theo says with a chuckle.

“I hope so,” I comment, nuzzling her face. “I love dogs.”

“You know, I was worried.”

I look up at Theo. “Seriously?”

Biscuit nudges me, looking for attention, so I keep scratching her as I wait for Theo to answer.

“Yeah, well… based off the first night we met, I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about pets.”

I roll my eyes. “I was working.”

“First impressions last.”

Getting to my feet, I grab the bottle of whiskey and hand it to Theo.

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