Page 79 of Liberate Us

“He’s already had me, why does he want me again?”

It was an innocent question and I knew why she was asking it, butit didn’t mean that it still didn’t piss me off any less. “Because you keeptelling him no.”

She sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. “I don’t want him. Inever have. Yes, I used him after Aaron died to make me feel better and I’m notoverly proud of that, but I told him that I didn’t want anything more. He’sworse than Aaron was. I’ve seen the way he is with women.” She shuddered.“Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I just…I want this to work for us.”

“I want this to work for us too.” I stared at her, searching herface for a sign. Any sign that she was possibly lying or hiding something else,but when I didn’t see anything, I let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you fortelling me all of that. You didn’t have to. I also know that it was hard,so…thank you.”

Amber nodded. “I used to hate talking about my feelings. I don’tknow why really. It wasn’t like I had any problems as a kid. I had a goodupbringing, even though it was just me and my mom. But I was always shy andinsecure. Shawnee has helped bring me out of my shell, but I didn’t reallystart opening up until later on in my marriage. Will used to always say that mygood girl act was just a ruse.” Her eyes locked with mine. “He said thatthere’s a slut inside of me and he was determined to find her.”

My jaw clenched. I vowed right then that no matter what happenedbetween me and Amber, I would kill him. Since I couldn’t kill Aaron as he wasalready dead, Will would take the brunt of my wrath for both him and hisbrother.

“But you found her, Sam,” Amber murmured, pulling me from mythoughts. “She belongs to you and only you. When you call me names, it doesn’tmake me feel any less about myself. It makes me feel quite the opposite. Itdoesn’t offend me or make me feel less important either. It makes me feelconnected to you on a level I have never experienced before. Even though Itried.”

Cupping her knees, I ran my hands up and down her thighs. “Thesubmissive needs to trust their Dom but the Dom needs to also trust theirsubmissive too. It’s a two-way street and a lot of people forget that. I’vehad…I’ve had issues. I think it’s…” Could I tell her my truth? My absolutetruth and why I had been a dick and why this rage was growing inside of me asthe days went on? “I’m scared to fall in love only for it to be taken away fromme. I saw my dad break after my mom was killed. He wasn’t the same. I know hetried to be a father to us but both Cyrus and I knew that we would never getour dad back. It didn’t matter that we were young and needed him. He was lostand couldn’t find himself. And before we could say anything or tell him how wefelt, he was murdered as well.” My words came out monotonously. I had nevervoiced those feelings out loud. “I know I could fall in love with you, Amber.Maybe I already have. I don’t know. But that’s my truth.” I lifted thesweatshirt she was wearing, to below her tits. “And it’s not because you’re carryingmy baby.” I cupped her stomach. “It’s you. It’s always been you.”

Amber covered my hand with hers. “I never wanted to fall in loveagain. I didn’t even want to try.” Her tears fell onto the back of her hand.“But I want to. I want to try with you.”

Before she could say anymore, I wrapped my arms around her andhugged her close. “I want to try too. With you. Only with you.”

Amber

Sammy and I spentthe next couple of days soaking upthe fact that I was pregnant with his baby. He ended up making me the soup hismom would make for him and his brother when they were kids and it helped settlemy stomach a bit. It was something simple. A chicken type broth with somespices, but the mixture was delicious.

Every chance Sam had, he would run his fingers along my stomachor he would kiss it when he thought I was sleeping. He even muttered words toit. Words that I never heard but was grateful for just the same.

I had called into the club, spoke with Candace, and told her Ineeded a few days off due to a family emergency. I knew that eventually shewould figure out what was going on but until then, I would keep this to myself,knowing Shawnee wouldn’t tell anyone anything until I gave her the go-ahead.

Sammy was able to take some time off as well but every now andagain his phone would ring. He would look at the screen, hit a button, and puthis phone away. I never knew who called him, but I found it didn’t overlymatter. We would tell people when we were ready to.

One night, he was restless as he laid beside me. A wave ofnausea had woken me up and I couldn’t get back to sleep. Add to the fact thatwe had a doctor’s appointment later the next morning and I was excited andnervous just the same.

Rolling onto my back, I found the spot beside me empty and cold.

Slipping from bed, I headed out into the living room. Sammy wasnowhere to be found. “Sam?”

As I neared the doors leading to the balcony, I saw that the maindoor was open, while the screen remained closed. When I reached it, I heardSammy’s deep voice. He was on the phone with someone.

“She’s sleeping,” he mumbled. “Yeah, I think I am. Is there away of knowing?” He grunted. “They need to make how-to books on this shit.”

Opening the door, I stepped out onto the balcony.

Sammy lifted his head, the light from the lantern on the tablecasting a glow around him. He had bought me that lantern weeks ago, so we wouldhave some light on the balcony after the sun went down.

“I gotta go, brother. Give your girl a hug from me.” Samdisconnected the call, placing his phone on the table. “You should besleeping.”

“Yeah, so should you.” I went up to him and stepped between hislegs. “Everything okay?”

He wrapped his arms around me, lowering me onto his lap.“Nightmare.”

“Did you want to talk about it?” I asked, reveling in thefeeling of his hard body beneath me.

“Not really.” He leaned his forehead against my chest, taking adeep breath. “It’s the same dream. Cyrus has it too. I guess it’s a twin thing.We have it at around the same time and end up calling each other after. It’sbeen going on like that since we were kids. It changes a little bit, but theidea is still the same. I get kidnapped. Dad can’t find me. Mom dies. Sameshit. Different night.”

“I’m sorry, baby,” I whispered, running my fingers through thehair at his nape.

“Not your fault.” Sam lifted his head. “Are you looking forwardto the appointment?” he asked, changing the subject.

“I am.” I cupped my stomach. “I don’t know if I’ve just beeneating too much but I feel like I’m showing already. I shouldn’t be. Should I?”

---