Page 67 of Liberate Us

Sam and I didn’t dwell on our relationship status, but I didlike the fact that he reminded me every chance he could that I was hisgirlfriend. He had told me he never had a girlfriend before and was proud of thefact that he finally had one who could handle him and his mood swings. Ithinted at the fact that I was a brat and enjoyed challenging him whenever Icould.

As I spent one afternoon cleaning my apartment, my thoughtstraveled back to that morning. Sammy woke me up with his mouth between my legs.I shivered, wishing I could have spent the day with him, but he had to work andpromised to see me later that night at Rouge. A part of me was thankful he leftanyway since I had spent the rest of the morning after he left throwing up. Iwasn’t sure what was wrong with me. Over the past few days, these bouts ofnausea would come on at random times of the day. It hadn’t happened since wewent to see Tiny weeks ago but all of a sudden, it had started up again.

Once I finished sweeping the kitchen, the cleaning distractingme from how I was feeling, I went to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. Myeyes landed on the calendar I kept on the freezer door. I frowned, seeing thetiny little star I had drawn on the date I should have started my period. Butthat date had come and gone, and I still hadn’t started. I had been so wrappedup in Sammy that I had never even noticed. He bought me that bag of tampons andpads after our first night together but that was weeks ago. Maybe even longer?Had it been a couple of months already?

I flipped the page to the previous month and then another, myeyes widening when I realized that I couldn’t remember the last time I had myperiod. My thoughts recalled the many times Sammy and I had sex. I bled afterone time we had gotten carried away. We tried a new position which resulted inhim being even deeper inside me. We had assumed that my period was coming. Butit never did.

My hand dropped to my stomach. “Oh…shit.”

I couldn’t be. I religiously took my birth control. I knew itwasn’t fool proof of course but it wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be.

Either way, I had to find out. I had to know if I was carryingSammy’s baby.

Grabbing my bag, I locked up and left the apartment. I was in afog as I drove to the pharmacy and bought several pregnancy tests and a largejug of orange juice. I didn’t even remember getting back home but here I was,sitting on the edge of the tub, waiting for five tests to do their thing.

When the alarm on my phone went off, indicating that it was timeto check them, I took a deep breath. Silencing the alarm, I checked the testsspread out on my bathroom counter.

The wordPregnantstared up at me from one. A pink plussign was on another. My eyes roamed over all of them. All five tests. All fivecame back positive.

Pregnant.

I waspregnant.

I couldn’tbe and yet I was. Sammy and I hadn’t used protection for a while, but I wasstill on birth control. It just proved it wasn’t a sure thing.

Would Sammybe mad? Would he react like Aaron had?

As I sat onthe floor at the base of my tub, I couldn’t help but think back to the one andonly time Ihadbeen pregnant and how my late husband reacted.

“You’repregnant?” Aaron boomed, his face red with fury.

“Ithought you would be happy,” I yelled back, shocked by his sudden outburst.

“Why thehell would I be happy? I don’t want kids. I told you that before we gotmarried.” He was lying. He never told me that shit.

“Yousaid it wasn’t something you longed for but if it happened, you would behappy.” I threw my hands up in the air. “God, I can’t even with you.”

“How doI know it’s actually mine?”

Istopped, slowly turning toward him. “Did you really just ask me that question?”

“I mean,come on, Amber.” He shrugged. “I see you flirting with the other guys in theclub. Especially with Tiny.”

“Kellanhas nothing to do with this.” Kellan Rose was the Enforcer for Hell’s Harlem atthe local chapter and I had been the only one who got away with using his firstname. He went by Tiny because he was a beast, but also, nothing but a teddybear if you were lucky enough to get that side of him.

“Are yousure? You two hang out all the time.”

“We’refriends, not that I have to explain anything to you.” I stomped to our bedroom.Aaron was being an asshole. He had been one for awhile now and I couldn’thandle it anymore. My thoughts traveled to the divorce papers I had stuffedaway in my bag, wishing I had the strength to go through with it. I could callup Shawnee like she offered and get her to do it with me. No, I had to bestrong. I could do it. I just needed the right moment.

“Notthat you have to explain anything to me,” Aaron repeated, following me. “Areyou fucking serious right now? You’re my wife. You do have to explain shit tome if I demand it.”

Istopped, spinning on him. “Yeah? Or else what? You going to rape me again?”

His faceturned even redder. “I apologized for that.”

Iscoffed. “Right, after you got off, had some more beers, and got drunk. That’swhen you apologized. While I cried myself to sleep, thinking I did somethingwrong by wanting to connect with my husband on another level, wishing, prayingthat you would console me but no, you passed out instead. But please, apologizeaway, Aaron.”

I couldnever explain where I got that bravery from, but I remembered how saying thosewords to him made me feel better. He never apologized. Not for anything he hadever done to me. He was nice before he fell in with the wrong people. The wrongparts of Hell’s Harlem. He wasn’t a good guy. Not like Sammy and the guys hehung out with. I knew no one was perfect and that this chapter was trying toclean up some messes based on what Tiny told me, but even he confirmed thatthey were good guys and were nowhere near being like Aaron and Will.

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