Page 14 of Shaped to Be Yours

“No. I can simply see where your phone is in relation to mine.” He pointed to each pin, his being the red one. “Of course, we wouldn’t need this if you were to change your mind—”

“Not happening.”

“Your choice. Don’t attempt to uninstall the app, by the way. Doing so requires a password. Mrs. Bosco, might I trouble you for some cream for my coffee?”

“Oh! I am so sorry. I take it with cream myself and completely forgot. Jason, why don’t you help me fill that plate of cookies with more.” Mom hauled me out of my chair, leaving my phone on the kitchen table—and Ricky alone with Agent Asshole.

“Mom—”

“We’ll be right back.”

It wasn’t as if I was going to fight her dragging me into the kitchen but come on! There wasn’t a door between the kitchen and dining room, but I still didn’t like Whitmore leaning toward Ricky with a hushed voice like he was passing a trigger word to a sleeper agent.

Mom thrust the plate of cookies into my arms, which only had one remaining, since everyone had eaten at least one and I’d had, like, three listening to Whitmore give Mom the same bullshit speech he’d given me in Edgewind. In the kitchen, I started throwing cookies onto the plate from the baking sheet, trying very hard to use my enhanced hearing to catch whatever Whitmore and Ricky were talking about, but it was as if Whitmore knew the exact volume I couldn’t overhear.

He probably did, that fucker.

“Jason, stop. You’ll break the plate, let alone most of the cookies.” Mom had already gotten the creamer out of the fridge but was taking her time pouring some into a tiny pitcher she only ever used with guests. “I know this is difficult. I know you’re upset. But please… ” Her voice hitched, drawing my attention to how much her hands were shaking while she poured thecreamer. “Please do not do anything to convince them to take you away from me.”

Shit.

Shit.

I was being a dick again.

“I’m sorry, Mom.” I wrapped an arm around her shoulders, feeling all the tension in them that was also in mine. “It’s like my whole life is out of my hands, ya know? And I get so mad. After I got my visa, I stupidly thought that was going to be the hard part. Then they dropped that bomb on me that I’m not what I thought and…”

“I know, honey. I know.” Mom turned and hugged me full on. I wondered if she knew how much it meant to me that she could do that even though I wasn’t the same me anymore. “And I understand why you don’t want them to test you. But if that is your decision, you need to play nice. Please, do not let them send you away. If I lost you…” Her voice hitched again, and I could tell she was trying very hard to not cry while we had company.

I hugged her tighter. Why did I always have to do this? Get too upset or too in someone’s face and get myself in trouble. I always made the wrong decisions. I always fucked things up. At least enough to get grounded or detention. But if I fucked this up, it could mean my whole life was over.

Before it even started.

“I’m sorry, Mom,” I said again. “I mean it. I’ll do better. Just promise me something.” I let my eyes slide over to Agent Whitmore, still talking too hushed to Ricky for me to eavesdrop. “Do not fall for that guy.”

“Fall?” She choked on a laugh.

I’d partially wanted her to laugh, but I also meant it. “Do not become some Hallmark channel rom-com and give in to how dreamy and smoldering he is.”

She laughed again and wiped the last of the tears from her eyes. “Sounds like you’re the one at risk of falling.”

“It’s objective recognition of hotness!” I argued. “I only want Ricky.”

“Aw. That’s sweet. He is so perfect for you—”

“Don’t start gushing over him. It’s still too new. I don’t want to scare him off.”

“I won’t.” Mom reached up to wipe my mouth like I had cookie crumbs there. I hoped I hadn’t. I had a feeling she just needed the connection. “You know, sometimes, when it’s the right person, no one else can compare, regardless of another’s, um, hotness factor. I’ve had my love and loss. I am not looking for a second round.”

Her tears might have dried but that seemed even sadder. “You know you could, right? Nothim. Please, not with him. But I’d be okay if it was someone else. You know that, right?”

“Of course, honey.”

“I guess I always figured the only reason you didn’t find someone while I was growing up was because I was still at home. I realize I’m still technically at home but—”

“Jason, it wasn’t you. I just never met anyone I wanted to have fill the empty space left by your father. And I will try my absolute hardest to make sure Agent Whitmore doesn’t change that.”

“Thank you.”

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