Page 72 of The Beat of her Heart

Alex cleared her throat. “Rough day?”

Addie let out a heavy sigh. She hadn’t planned on talking, but Alex’s gentle question broke through her resolve.

“You could say that,” Addie said.

Alex’s gaze flicked back to the road. “Want to talk about it?”

Addie’s jaw tightened. “Not sure what good it would do.” She paused and glanced down at her hands. “But yeah, maybe.”

They passed a few blocks in silence before Addie spoke again. “I just thought I mattered to someone. That they saw me. That they wanted me.”

Alex nodded, keeping her gaze on the road. “And they didn’t?”

Addie shook her head. “They kept me at arm’s length. Made me feel like I was important, but only on their terms. Like I’m just a distraction from whatever else is going on in their life.”

Alex listened, her hands steady on the wheel. “Sounds like they don’t know what they want.”

Addie looked away, her hands clenched into fists in her lap. “Maybe. Or maybe they do know what they want, and it’s not me.”

Alex’s expression softened, her gaze flickering to Addie in the rearview mirror. “Did you tell them what you wanted?”

Addie’s chest tightened. She’d thought Giselle understood her. But maybe that was her mistake—assuming that someone else would understand without her needing to say it out loud.

She pressed her lips together, refusing to let herself fall into that trap of blaming herself.

“I shouldn’t have to spell it out,” Addie said finally, her voice edged with frustration. “Shouldn’t she love me enough to know?”

“Same way you could tell what they wanted?” Addie gave a small shrug. “Sometimes people can’t see what’s right in front of them unless you make it clear, even if it seems obvious to you.”

Addie’s jaw clenched as she considered that. She’d shown Giselle how much she cared, hadn’t she? She’d given her time and attention, and even let her guard down in ways she hadn’t in years.

But she hadn’t told her outright that she wanted more.

“Maybe,” she said, almost to herself. “Maybe I was waiting for her to make the first move, to show me she was ready to commit.”

Alex nodded thoughtfully. “So you waited for her to say what you wanted her to say, but she never did?”

Addie blinked, feeling a prick of irritation. “It’s not like that. I’m not asking for a grand gesture. Just honesty.”

“Sometimes people think they’re protecting you by keeping things unsaid. But maybe it’s just that they’re scared…scared of messing things up.”

Addie frowned, her mind going back tothe look in Giselle’s eyes when her parents had shown up unannounced. She’d looked defensive and tense, like she was bracing for impact. Maybe she was scared, just like Addie had been, of admitting what she wanted. But even that didn’t make the sting of today’s encounter any easier to bear.

“It shouldn’t be this hard,” she said. “I don’t want to feel like I’m constantly fighting just to feel close to her.”

Alex’s eyes met Addie’s in the mirror. “If you told her how you felt, do you think she’d listen?”

Addie hesitated. “I don’t know. Maybe.” She rubbed her hands against the seat, the feeling of the cold leather pressing into her palms grounding her. “But if she hasn’t figured it out by now, maybe it’s because she doesn’t want to.”

Alex sighed. “Or maybe it’s because you both keep holding back. You’re waiting for her, so maybe she’s waiting for you.”

Addie looked down, her heart pounding. “I can’t keep doing this, can I?” she murmured.

Alex said nothing for a long moment. “Only you know what you can and can’t do.But if you keep holding back, you’ll never know what could have been.”

Addie’s fingers dug into her palms. She knew Alex was right, as much as she hated to admit it. She’d spent so much of her life protecting herself that talking about her feelings out loud felt terrifying.

But she also knew that staying on the sidelines, watching as her feelings went unspoken and unreturned, was a torture she couldn’t bear.

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