Page 20 of The Beat of her Heart

Addie shook her head. The squirming in her belly wasn’t a feeling she welcomed. She cleared her throat as she stepped out of the cafeteria, squared her shoulders, and flashed the brightest smile she could muster as she headed for the pediatric ward.

It didn’t work. The thought remained with her until after her shift. She sat in the backseat, staring out the window as Alex drove to Sophie’s school.

“Thinking about work?” Alex asked.

Addie blinked, turning to glance at the driver’s seat. Alex’s blonde hair contrasted beautifully against her powder blue shirt.

“Not exactly,” Addie said. “Just enjoying the drive.”

Alex pulled into the school parking lot and Addie stepped out of the car, scanning the neat rows of vehicles. The afternoon sunreflected off the windshields, making her squint as she walked. A sharp burst of laughter reached her ears. She glanced in the direction of the noise. Beyond the low brick wall to her right was the school playground.

Sophie was tucked in a quiet corner with Natalie Thompson-Mars.

Addie still had a smile on her face when grabbed the cool metal handles and pushed open the double doors. Inside, her steps slowed as she took in the colorful posters taped to the walls. They mostly advertised bake sales and field trips.

“Mom!”

Addie turned at the sound of Sophie’s voice. Her daughter stood a few feet away, eyes wide with excitement. Like hers, Sophie’s hair was light brown and pulled back into a simple ponytail, with a few strands falling loose around her face.

Sophie wore a bright yellow shirt with a cartoon rabbit on it and navy blue leggings. She clutched a pencil with SpongeBob grinning up from the eraser end.

Addie opened her arms and Sophie ranforward, wrapping her arms around her mother. “I missed you, Mom.”

“I missed you, too, sweetheart,” Addie said, pulling away eventually. “Let me have your bag.”

Sophie handed her the pencil first. “Here, Mom,” she said, then held out her bag.

Addie slid the pencil into the front pocket, noticing how neat her daughter had kept everything inside. Sophie’s face was flushed with that excitement Addie always saw when her daughter was happy. Her brown eyes shone, just like her own.

“How was your day?” Addie asked, brushing a hand gently over Sophie’s hair.

“Natalie kept reminding me of her mommy’s birthday party. She says I can come.”

Addie smiled at her daughter’s excitement. “We’ll see about that. First, let’s get you home.”

As they walked to the car, Sophie chattered about her day. It was the usual—games, snacks, something funny a classmate did—but then she mentioned the birthday party again.

“Her mom is having a big party,” Sophiesaid. “It’ll be so much fun. And she’s got two moms.”

Two moms. Addie wasn’t ready for how much that stung. She buckled Sophie into her car seat, listening with the occasional one-worded replies. She wondered, just for a second, what it would be like if Sophie had more than just her. Suppose she had a wife—a partner to share in moments like this, someone to co-parent, to provide love and care from both sides.

The thought lingered as Alex drove them home. Addie wasn’t unhappy with her life. She adored Sophie, and they had a good rhythm. But she wondered what it’d feel like if Sophie had two parents to lean on.

“Mommy, we’re home,” Sophie said, rousing her back to the present.

Addie blinked quickly. She helped Sophie out of the car, picking up her bag and shutting the door behind them. If Alex noticed anything strange in Addie’s musing, she said nothing.

Sophie was too excited to notice any difference in her mother’s mood.

“Thanks, Alex,” she said before they headed up the front path.

“Can we make pasta tonight?” Sophie asked as they walked to the front door.

“Sure thing,” Addie said, smiling. “But only if you help me.”

“Yay!” Sophie bounced on her feet.

“That means you have to freshen up pretty quickly,” Addie said.

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