Page 14 of Callahan

“Do you want to hold him?”

Her question took me aback.

“Um, I don’t really have a lot of experience. I don’t want to drop him.”

“You won’t. Just make sure to cradle his head.”

Lainey put the little guy in my arms, and I gave him a big smile, like I’d seen her do.

Then the little dude smiled back.

And I was fucking done for.

Chapter Seven

Lainey

Watching Adam with Conor made my heart hurt.

The six-foot three-inch Marine was so gentle and sweet as he talked animatedly to my son. Conor watched his face, like he was enthralled with the man. Seeing them together made it hit home how badly we’d been cheated.

Tears welled up in my eyes when I thought about all the things my kid was going to miss out on not having his father in his life.

I knew Shawn’s dad, and even my dad and brother, would fill in where they could. Brian, too. And I loved them all dearly for that.

But it wasn’t the same.

I quickly wiped my tears as Adam looked over at me; his bright smile quickly morphing into a frown.

“You okay?”

I swiped at my face again and tried to offer a smile.

“Sometimes it hits me out of nowhere how unfair things are.”

He turned his attention back to the baby when he replied, “I can’t pretend to know what you’re going through, raising this little guy all by yourself, but from where I’m standing, you seem pretty blessed.”

And now I feel like an ungrateful asshole.

“I know I am. It’s just hard not to be angry at what Conor’s going to miss out on, not having his dad around as he grows up.”

“I’m sure the O’Briens would love to help fill that void, not to mention Brian.”

I wanted to argue but knew there would be no point. Adam had the typical, “Buck up, Marine!” attitude. But like he said, he had no idea what my life was like.

With a tight smile, I said, “We have a lot of people who love us. You’re right.”

I glanced toward the kitchen. Time to put my big-girl panties on.

“I need to get started on tomorrow’s selections.” I nodded toward Conor, still in his arms. “I can put him back in his carrier; you don’t need to keep holding him.”

“But I want to.”

Adam made another face with expressive eyes and a big smile, and my son responded by kicking his legs and flailing his arms while flashing a toothless grin.

The Marine glanced over at me. “Unless I can help you in the kitchen.”

I shook my head. “That’s okay. My best friend helps me with baking; she should be here soon.”

---