Page 17 of Embers in Our Past

“This view is amazing. I wouldn’t leave this spot if I lived here,” he says without taking his eyes off the water.

I don’t remember much about Malloy, aside from what Clay mentioned in passing. Clay was never a fan. Always told me Malloy was crass and difficult. Clay complained he was rough around the edges and never fit in with his group of friends. I only vaguely remember Clay mentioning that out of all the guys, Malloy only got along with Rios because they grew up together.

Now that I remember correctly, Clay’s exact words were, “condescending prick,” but something about the way Malloy is looking out at the water, he’s really giving off “sensitive giant” by the look of things. I know I’ve known him for a mere three minutes, but I’ve always been a good judge of character, and he’s not really giving off the vibe of a person that seems rude or cocky.

“Yeah, I can’t argue with that. It’s nice to sit there with a good book and just get lost most of the day,” I say back.

“I could see that.” He smiles, completely lost in thought.

My stomach growls loudly, pulling both of us from our thoughts.

“Where should we go to eat?” I ask, both of us laughing.

“Oh, I have the perfect spot.” He smiles, and it’s warm and welcoming. Maybe this date won’t be half bad.

I was wrong. This date is definitely not what I expected.

Malloy brought me to a hot dog stand. Not even a food truck, but an actual hot dog stand like one outside a baseball field. I put in the effort to be in heels, a tight dress, and full makeup as per Marissa's instructions, and I'm sitting on the curb trying not to spill condiments all over myself.

Here’s the deal. I am not uptight. I'm the girl who would rather stay in, wearing my sweats, with a movie and popcorn, than wear this skintight dress. I am all about that life. I’d choose that over the skintight dress anyway. But I put in effort. I did the layers of makeup and a smokey eye. As someone who works from home and doesn’t go out much, I looked up a tutorial and got the latest trend on how to curl my hair just right!

I went to the trouble to get the look down tonight, so yes, I wanted a nice night out. Ask any girl, and they will tell you that for all this work, they want effort put into their night. I didn’t do all this to sit on the side of the road and eat a hot dog. I could have put tennis shoes on and some jeans with a simple tee and just grabbed a hot dog any day of the week.

It sort of feels like Malloy just thought of this random thing while he was walking over here and saw the cart and pulled me in this direction. If Marissa went out of her way to make this happen for me after such a hiatus on my end of dating, why start with this introduction into the dating world? This isn’t making me feel very special.

I’m not trying to sound ungrateful, but once someone has been through divorce, they just want the effort made if they’re going to start dating again. That’s all. So here I am, with a significant intention to make myself look nice tonight, and this guy brought me to get a hot dog. Figures.

“How long have you been back in Boston?” Malloy asks with a mouth full of his second hot dog.

Sipping my drink, I take in the people walking by. “Almost two months. It’s strange to think I’ve been gone because the moment I unpacked, it felt like I never left. I thought moving away would be the right move for me emotionally, but my heart just wasn’t in California.”

“Yeah, I could see that. I visited the West Coast once. It wasn’t for me. But the weather is nice. I’ll give it that much,” Malloy says.

“Yeah, it does have that going for it. It’s never horrible weather in California, especially in the winter when everyone is drowning in snow; they’re still soaking up the sun.” I smile.

That is something many people asked me about when I first moved to Boston. When we are freezing in the winter months here, they’d always be baffled that I’d choose to leave the California sun to endure the Boston cold. But once I met Clay, nothing else mattered. Now I’ll see how I feel enduring all the seasons without the one person who made everything possible for me all year long.

We once again sit uncomfortably silent. I can’t take it much longer, so I simply blurt it out.

“Malloy, what are we doing on this date together?”

I can’t take the small talk about the weather from Boston to California. The longer we are on this date, the more it feels like he doesn’t want to be here. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be here either, but I was forced on this date. What’s his excuse?

“What do you mean? We’re on a date,” he says like he rehearsed that excuse all day before going out tonight.

I look at him with acome the fuck onlook on my face.

He lets out a breath. “You want the truth?”

“Always,” I say before taking a bite of a potato chip.

“Please don’t say that, then get all pissed when I tell you. You seem like a pretty chill chick. I mean, I get this vibe from you that we could actually be friends. I don’t say that lightly because I don’t have any female friends, at least none that I don’t want to sleep with,” he adds, and the smile that crosses his face shows off a side of him that most likely has girls falling at his feet. I’m not one of them.

“I promise I will not take offense.” I cross my heart and laugh at the ridiculousness.

He blows out a breath again, nerves really taking over his behavior.

“You know Rios from Clay’s station, I assume.” He looks at me as I nod. “Well, he’s my best friend. I’ve known him as long as I’ve understood friendship. I’d do anything for him. That being said, I wouldn’t do anything to compromise that friendship. He’s my ride or die.”

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