Page 81 of Embers in Our Past

She keeps her eyes trained where they were but finally moves her gaze toward me, and I begin to speak.

“We lost track of where we started. Life got hard, which is normal. We just needed a few little reminders. When life gets tough again, we will have to do a better job of taking a step back and redirecting each other. We need to remind one another where we came from. We started this journey together, and there is no place I’d rather be than in your arms, battling it out with you.” I open the box, and she breathes in.

I updated the ring I first got her. What was once a solitaire is now three stones, with the original solitaire in the center and a stone on either side.

“We started as one, which is represented in the center. Gabriella is now added as the new stone on the side, and we now have another stone on the opposite side, which will symbolize whatever comes in our future. I love you, Abby. Please, will you be my wife again?”

She’s nodding and then finally whisper-yells, “Yes, of course!”

I place the ring on her finger, then stand and pull her in a hug, careful with our little girl between us. I pull back and kiss her, feeling her soft lips against mine.

We move apart, and she looks into my eyes—her blue eyes shining so bright, my heart soars. Finally, she looks at me and opens her mouth, ready to speak, and I wait in anticipation.

“Clay, why is there a penis purse in the middle of our bed?”

The End

Malloy

“I don’t knowhow you eat that crap, Rios.” After nearly twenty years of friendship, you’d think I’d be used to seeing the guy eat fucking anchovies on his pizza, but I still want to fucking gag.

“Get the fuck over it, big guy!” he says as he’s moving his player around the game in front of him. The latestFIFAgame, which is nowEA Sports, is out, and we never miss an opportunity to play.

The ritual is ordering pizza and playing until our hearts’ content. We’ve taken the entire day to eat and play games, making it feel like old times again. It’s been strained for us. In all honesty, things have been strained for Rios between him and all of the guys at the station. He fucked up, and he knows it since he intervened with Abby and Clay.

I think deep down, he understands he fucked up, but he’s too stubborn to own up to his mistake. The problem is that Rios is like a brother to me. And life has been a dick to me, so I need some normalcy in my world. I need my friend back, so I’ll take what I can get where I can get it. If he will give me this, I’ll take it.

We play a few more hours, and soon, we look up to see it’s after midnight. I grab a water and rub my hand down my face. We both still have tomorrow off, and I’m relieved because our last shift kicked our asses. This summer has been absolute hell. Luckily, Clay is back on rotation. It’s hard to have your guys off. It throws the entire house off our equilibrium.

“Didn’t you have a date last weekend?” Rios asks, taking a swig of his beer. That’s his third one. Thank goodness he is taking an Uber home.

“Yeah. It was alright. She was interesting.” I leave out the part that she was pretty much trying to hump me from the moment the date started. I’m certainly leaving out the part where, each time I closed my eyes, all I saw was a dark-haired girl who I kept fantasizing about. I’ll definitely leave out the fact the fantasy girl was his sister. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Since Rios suspected he saw something between his sister and me, I have kept my distance. I have not spoken to Baylee, not even breathed in her direction, since the day I agreed to go on that fake date with Abby. She made assumptions, and I didn’t try to clarify either.

Baylee’s usually in town for the summer, but she stayed at school in Connecticut this year, stating she wanted to be near her boyfriend and get a summer internship. She came back during the holidays, but I took on extra shifts and only saw my mother, then hurried back to Dover at my previous station for work.

It’s best this way. After she left, she tried to reach out a few times, but I stopped responding to her texts. Then she took the hint. I heard from her brother she found herself a new boyfriend, and they’ve been getting more serious ever since. And I’ve made sure to keep my mind occupied with other things. It doesn’t mean I keep myself from thinking of her because she’s always on my mind.

Does it mean I’ve been celibate? Absolutely not. I compartmentalize. I date. I see other women in hopes I can find someone to distract me. Yes, it’s an asshole move. I just don’t do a great job of it when I’m on a date. All I do is compare how my date isn’t Baylee: pouty fucking lips, tiny waist, dark brown hair, dark eyes that feel like they look directly into my soul.

“You going to see her again?” Rios keeps pressing, pulling me out of my thoughts, and I honestly don’t want to keep talking about this date of mine.

“Not sure.” I shrug. If I play this as indifferent, maybe he won’t be so pushy. “We’ll see.”

“You should. It might be good for you. Look how happy my sister is. She found someone who’s perfect for her.” He reaches behind him and pulls out his phone. He presses a few buttons, then turns the screen to face me, and I’m assaulted with photos of Baylee and her douche boyfriend. Something about him just rubs me wrong, but I say nothing.

Whenever she posts on social media, I can’t help but check up on her. I’m a fucking masochist, I’ll admit. When I look at her, though, there’s something off in her demeanor. And she’s dressing differently now too—dresses covering her up when she’d always wear things that showed her toned arms and legs. And what’s up with these fucking tight hairdos? She’d always have her dark locks down past her shoulders. And I hate that her smile never reaches her eyes anymore. Her bright smile was so beautiful, and I barely see her teeth showing in photos these days.

I can’t say anything to Rios because he’ll know I’m checking up on her, so I keep my damn mouth shut. Her smile doesn’t seem genuine, and it kills me I can’t say anything. I want to shake Rios and tell him his sister looks miserable, but if I even hint there’s something off about them together, he’ll read it as jealousy, so I leave it be.

I smile and give my generic, “I’m happy for her,” comment and turn to toss my bottled water.

Rios orders his ride, and soon he’s headed out. I shove his pizza in his hands because I do not need that pie sitting in my fridge, stinking up the joint. I’ve made the mistake of forgetting it here, and I couldn’t get rid of the stench for days. Just the reminder makes me shudder.

I walk through my apartment, still finding boxes in corners because I have to unpack. I’ve been here a few months, but life has been busy between shifts at the firehouse and taking my mom to appointments, so unpacking boxes is the last thing on my mind. Plus, if I have extra time, I’d much rather soak up the nice weather while Boston hasn’t frozen over yet. The winters are brutal here.

I’m brushing my teeth when I hear the faint sound of my phone. I rush to grab it, concerned it might be my mother with an emergency. I finally find it in the living room and see it’s from the last person I’d expect. I press accept and put the phone to my ear.

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