Page 79 of Embers in Our Past

“Clay, she’s going to date before she’s forty-five.” She rolls her eyes.

The nurse taking Abby’s vitals chuckles. I can’t stop looking at our daughter as she lies on my chest, sleeping skin-to-skin against me. I can feel her little heart beating, and I swear, I have never felt more at peace in my life.

She’s got a little cap on her head, and I keep lifting it to see her soft chestnut hair. She’s got so much of it, and each time I see it, I can’t help but smile. She is absolutely perfect in every way. Each time she smiles in her sleep, I see a little dimple pop out, resembling my brother and me.

She gave Abby a run for her money though. I thought we were going to rush to an emergency C-section near the end. Her heart rate kept dropping, but luckily, right at the last minute, she must have gotten in the right position, and Abby was able to push her out.

The moment she let out that scream on her arrival, I looked over at Abby, and we were both in tears. She was placed on Abby’s chest and looked up at her mama. Those eyes locked on her, and I’ve never seen a more beautiful sight. All that hard work, hours of labor, righted itself.

Our families have been out there, incessantly texting me and asking for updates. I promised I would let them come back here once our two hours of bonding time were up. I begged if they could all come back for the name reveal. Our nurse is pretty awesome, and she said she’d make an exception, but only for ten minutes.

She said she’d go get them in a few minutes. I hate to get up and disturb her, but I know I need to move her over to Abby. I want to stand up and make sure I have the camera set up to get everyone’s reaction to her name. It’s something we put a lot of time and effort into. Hopefully everyone loves it as much as we do.

I get our little girl situated on Abby, her swaddle more like a burrito than anything, then get the video set up in the corner. Abby is beaming at me, glowing in a way I never could have imagined when we started this journey years ago.

My mother and Collette are the first to sneak in, and the instant they see my daughter’s sweet face, they both start crying. I let them have their moment and soak it up. Each one of the family members comes in, and I’m glad this happened before they flew home. It’s special to see them take in our little girl in this way.

Once everyone is gathered and we finally have their attention, I begin.

“Well, it seems our little girl must have known she wanted an audience. She must be more like her Uncle River than we were prepared for.” Everyone laughs, and of course my brother fucking bows. I control the eye roll and smile at him.

I continue, “We’ve kept her name a secret. I know that has been hard for most of you. As you all know, for Abby and me, having our baby has been a miracle, our blessing. And now that she’s here, it’s hard to imagine a life without her. But there are some people who can’t be here today, yet a life without them feels hard to imagine each and every day as well.”

I look over to Abby, and tears fall down her cheeks. I clear my throat and move past the lump that feels like it’s lodged in there.

“As all of you know, my father Gabriel died when River and I were very young, being a hero. He is a man we have always looked up to. He is a man who our little girl will never personally know but whom we hope she will never grow up feeling untouched by. But in some stroke of kismet, Kennedy met our father hours before his passing, on a day she too lost her own parents. So today, we honor not only our father but her mother. We would like to introduce Gabriella Christine Nichols.”

Since we learned the baby was a girl, Abby and I wanted to honor my father. We had come up with her name within the first hour, easily deciding she would be named Gabriella. Her middle name was something we kept coming back to. It wasn’t until she was on the phone with Kennedy, talking about names, that Kennedy mentioned her mother’s middle name and how we should use it. I don’t think Kennedy thought we’d take her up on it, but she was seriously offering it. We found ways of bringing it up in conversation, and once we felt comfortable Kennedy would be okay with us using it, we decided it would be fitting.

My mom brings me into a tight hug. When she pulls away, she grabs my face and whispers, “Your father is looking down on you and smiling. I can guarantee it.”

My brother comes up next, gripping my shoulders and then pulling me into a tight hug. There is nothing more special than the bond I feel with him. He has been my best friend, and I can’t wait to go through this part of life with him. I know he will be an absolutely wonderful uncle, showing her everything fun this world has to offer.

“I’m proud of you, Clay,” he says into my ear.

“Thank you, Riv,” I whisper. I hug him a little tighter, feeling our bond growing even deeper.

We pull apart, and soon, Gabriella is being passed around, first to the grandparents, then to my brother. Kennedy gets a turn, and I swear, I sense her heart growing. Her smile doubles, and I see the love this girl brings to all of us. I walk over to Abby and kiss the top of her head.

It’s hard to imagine this love not surrounding us because it feels so pure and so much a part of our fabric now that she’s here with us. Even just a few hours old, it’s like she’s been a part of us for much longer.

Epilogue

CLAY

The days bleed into weeks,and we are moving into fall sooner than we ever expected. Gabriella is growing faster before our eyes as each day passes.

Abby took her out today to get some stuff with Kennedy for her bridal shower, which isn’t for some time. The wedding is scheduled for next winter, so there’s more than enough time until the festivities, but the girls are getting a head start on the planning.

It’s fun to see my brother in this phase of life though. He looks at Kennedy, and I see him anticipating the next step. I can’t wait to see him standing at the altar, looking at his bride and hopefully losing his cool.

“Clay, what about this?” He holds up the one item I’ve kept hidden, but that fucking twin thing means he finds shit.

“Goddamnit, River, no! I don’t want to use that,” I yell.

Lola thinks it’s a toy, so she’s jumping, trying to get a hold of it. I say go for it and toss it so she tears it to shreds.

“Listen, I get it’s hideous, but it’s comical, and it will bring you luck. This thing will make her say yes, I swear!” He hands the object to me, and I stare at it.

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