Page 76 of Embers in Our Past

Abby

A weekafter the Rios fiasco, I’m at my baby shower. My family flew in, and even after months of feeling the baby kick, seeing my belly all round in front of me, and reconnecting my love with Clay, I still feel like all this is a dream.

“You can thank me anytime,” Marissa says as I pop another pretzel in my mouth.

“Oh really?” I laugh at her humbleness.

“Yes, this is all because of me.” I swear she’s standing a little taller. Is her nose sticking up in the air?

“Get over yourself.” I snort. “You know Clay and Rios got in a huge fight, right?”

“Rios did that to himself. I had an innocent plan in place. Rios did himself dirty, not me,” she says. “Also, your little plan to get Clay all hot and bothered got you knocked up. I mean, your egg and his angry swimmers were on a mission that night.” She laughs and begins to saunter off, a little too proud of herself. I can’t help the eye roll.

“Also, my painting looks amazing in this apartment. It brings the whole place together,” she tells me before joining everyone else.

I wish I could be mad at her, but she’s been my ride or die, and I absolutely love her through thick and thin. So much has happened since that lunch with her in Los Angeles on that rainy day and that paint night. It’s hard to believe how quickly life can change.

I’m going to be a mother. I’m going to be welcoming a child in what could be a matter of days. Most would have had a baby shower at this point, but I kept resisting it. I didn’t really want a baby shower. My mother, along with Clay’s, thought I wasn’t going to give in, but I finally did at the last moment.

It might sound strange to some, but after years of trying to get pregnant, my focus shifted once I found out I was pregnant. I realized I just wanted to treasure my inner circle. I wanted to savor these moments. Much like it wasn’t about the baby announcement, the social media post, or the little outfits, it isn’t about the games, the little foods we serve, or the party favors.

I want to sit and talk with my friends. I want to take pictures with my friends and family. I want to soak up this time with them while they’re here visiting with me. I don’t want to just have my girlfriends here and ignore their partners. I want my brother here, mostly so he can stare at my baby’s father like he hung the moon. He is one hundred percent hanging off every word Clay is saying right now, and I want to savor that when I look back on today.

From what I hear Mary say about Clay’s father, life is absolutely too precious and fleeting to get caught up on the little things that won’t matter later. I want to enjoy her laughter as she watches her sons argue over who the baby will love more because she won’t know who the father is versus the uncle. I love hearing Kennedy tell everyone about her winter wedding while Samara jumps up and down about how pretty her best friend will be in a white gown.

This is what life is about, not the little details that so many, including myself, get caught up in. I am choosing to live this life in the present because I have already walked away from it once before.

My dad walks up to my side and brings his arm around me. I lay my head on his shoulder and breathe him in. He still smells like the cologne he wore when I was a little girl coming home from preschool. I can still close my eyes and remember bouncing on his knee, giggling as I begged him not to let me fall off.

“I can’t believe you’re gonna be a mama, Abigail.” He kisses my chestnut hair.

“Believe me, Daddy, I’m shocked each time I wake up and see this mountain of a belly.” I pat my stomach as the baby does summersaults from the pastry-induced sugar rush she got a few minutes ago.

“Still keeping those lips sealed on the name?” My dad looks down at me, and I smile.

“Oh, I almost let that slip. Clay would have been none too pleased with that pregnancy brain slip-up on my part.” I laugh.

“So close.” He snaps his fingers, then looks over at River and does a quick shake of the head.

“You have a bet going, don’t you?” I ask him, squinting at my former brother-in-law.

“What, me? Never.” He places his hand on his chest as if that’s completely out of character for him.

“Sure, Dad,” I say, sipping my water.

He laughs as he hugs me tighter. I soak in the people around me, knowing any minute, everything about my life is going to change in the best way, and my little girl is going to bring a little more life to each piece of it.

Clay

I’m grabbing more waters to put out on the counter when Frankie finds me to say goodbye.

“Dude, I’m so glad you’re back with my sister. There are no words to describe the relief I’m feeling.” He’s smiling from ear to ear.

It’s only then it dawns on me that I haven’t really had a true conversation with Abby about being completely back together with her. Maybe that should be something we do before we have the baby.

“I heard you took the divorce pretty badly,” I say as I put the waters down on the counter.

“I may have had a bit of a temper tantrum.” He brings his index and thumb together and laughs. “But seriously, man, I’m happy for you two. You’re going to be the best parents. I mean that.” He hugs me and says his goodbyes. They’ll be in town for a few more days. He’s got some work to do in Boston before they head back, so I can grab a beer with him and River and Ashton before he heads back to New York.

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