Page 42 of Knot Happening

"It wasn't like that!" The words burst out of me with more force than I intended. "Adam, I had it under control. I take suppressants, I know how to manage everything. I was never in the kind of danger you're imagining."

"Do you have any idea what happens to hidden omegas in this world?" The light turns green, but he doesn't move until the car behind us honks impatiently. "Do you know the statistics? The stories? God, Belle, every time you were 'sick' and staying home alone. What if something had happened? What if you'd gone into heat and there was no one there to help you?"

"I know that now," I say miserably, my voice small as I realize how much I've underestimated his protective instincts. "But when I first presented, I was so scared and confused. The emergency heat was traumatic, and the doctor made it seem like being an omega was a medical condition that needed to be managed. And then it just became easier to keep the secret than to face everyone's reactions."

We're entering the wealthier part of town now, where the houses get bigger and the lawns get more manicured. Othercars join our procession from sleek sedans and luxury SUVs, all clearly headed to the same destination. Through the windows, I catch glimpses of elaborate gowns and perfectly styled hair, of couples leaning close together in excited conversation.

Everyone else looks like they're heading to a celebration. We look like we're driving to a funeral.

“A year, Belle." Adam's voice has gone quiet now, but somehow that's worse than the panic. “A year of you facing this alone when you should have had someone watching your back. I couldn’t protect you because I didn't even know you needed protecting."

The words hit me like physical blows because I can see how much this is tearing him apart. The careful way he's been watching over me all these years, making sure I get home safe, checking in when I'm sick, being the steady presence in my life, and now he's realizing it wasn't enough because he didn't know the real danger I was facing.

"You never failed me," I whisper. "You're the best friend anyone could ask for."

"Haven't I?" He pulls into the line of cars leading up to Thornfield Palace, and I can see the massive structure looming ahead of us, lit up like something out of a fairy tale. "Because if I'd been more observant, if I'd paid better attention to the signs, maybe you would have felt safe telling me the truth. Maybe I could have been there for you properly."

"Adam, no. This isn't your fault. This is all on me…”

"And three days ago?” His voice cuts through my protest like a knife, sharp with fresh terror. "With Theo Blackwood?"

My cheeks burn with embarrassment as the memory of Theo's arms around me floods back, of his steady voice talking me through the panic, of the way he'd made me feel safe in the midst of the most vulnerable moment of my life.

"Lady Inkwell doesn't know what she's talking about," I say, but the words sound weak even to me.

"Doesn't she?" He pulls into the line of cars snaking up the circular drive, and I can see valets in crisp uniforms helping guests from their vehicles. "Because according to her column, you were seen leaving the library with one of the Beast Pack looking 'thoroughly rumpled and glowing.' Belle, please tell me you weren't alone when you went into heat. Please tell me you had someone safe with you."

The fear in his voice breaks my heart. He's not angry about Theo, he's terrified that I might have been alone and vulnerable.

"I..." I struggle to find words that will reassure him without revealing too much. "I wasn't alone. Theo helped me."

Adam parks the car and turns to face me fully, his eyes searching my face desperately. "Belle, I need you to look me in the eye and tell me you were safe. I need you to tell me that Theo actually took care of you and didn't hurt you."

I open my mouth to give him the reassurance he needs, but the raw fear in his expression makes my throat close up. This is Adam, and I can see how much it's killing him to realize he wasn't there when I needed him most.

"I was safe," I whisper, and watch some of the tension leave his shoulders. "He took care of me, and he made sure I got home okay, stayed with me until the worst of it passed. He was... he was perfect, Adam. Gentle and respectful and everything you'd want someone to be in that situation."

"An alpha. Are you sure? You don't need to lie for him."

I shake my head, denying what he thinks could have happened. "He didn't. He took care of me and watched over me."

He closes his eyes, and I can see him struggling to process this information. "Thank God," he breathes. "When I read that column, when I realized what must have happened... Belle, I'vebeen sick to my stomach all day thinking about you going through that alone."

"I'm okay," I say softly, reaching out to touch his arm. "I'm safe. Nothing bad happened to me."

"But it could have," he says, opening his eyes to look at me with such intensity it takes my breath away. "Don't you understand? If you'd been with the wrong alpha, if you'd been somewhere unsafe, if anything had gone wrong... I wouldn't have even known to come looking for you. I wouldn't have known you were missing until it was too late."

"They're not dangerous," I find myself saying, surprising myself with the conviction in my voice. "The Beast Pack, they're not what people say they are. Theo was kind and protective and…”

"And you trust him." Adam's voice is wondering now, like he's seeing me clearly for the first time. "You actually trust him. One of the alphas everyone in town is afraid of."

"His name is Theo," I say quietly. "And yes, I trust him. Because when I was at my most vulnerable, when I was scared and confused and completely out of control, he took care of me. He could have taken advantage, could have done anything he wanted, but instead he just... helped me."

"How do you know what good alpha behavior looks like?"

The question is gentle, but it reveals the depth of his concern. He's not questioning my judgment, but he's worried that I don't have enough experience to recognize danger.

"I know because of the way he made me feel," I say, trying to find words for something I barely understand myself. "Safe. Protected. Like I mattered more than his own needs or desires. Like taking care of me was the most important thing in the world to him."

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