Page 22 of The Neighbor's Son

Of course, I thought he was attractive, but if I’m telling myself the truth, it felt like he was with me as if I were a solid choice too.

The fluttery feeling Brayden gives me is so different than with Derek. With Derek, it just felt like we were checking off the next important thing in life: a committed relationship.

“Sounds boring,” Brayden teases, squeezing my hand. “A solid choice is what you call the package of filets you grabbed at the grocery store. Not too expensive but looks like a good cut for the price.”

I let loose a small chuckle. “We’re comparing my ex to a piece of meat. I’m sure he’d love that.”

“I’ve seen the guy,” Brayden says, a smile in his voice, “and he was a beefcake.”

“Who even says beefcake? Are you sure you’re not eighty instead of eighteen?”

He rolls toward me on his side, propping himself up on his elbow. “You like my quirkiness.”

He’s right about that.

“Go on. Tell me more, babe.”

I’m no longer transfixed by the stars but now stare at his youthful but incredibly handsome face. When I’m with him, I feel like I’m that young woman fresh out of high school, eager to conquer the world.

Where did she go?

I really lost her in the past couple of years.

“We were compatible,” I explain, recalling fondly how responsible Derek was and how refreshing that was for me. “I knew we should move in together right away. After a few months of dating, I got my unit at Moonlit Gables, and when his lease was up a couple months after that, he moved in. It was really…nice.”

Brayden listens with rapt attention, not getting jealous or angry or annoyed by my talking about Derek. It makes me want to hug and thank him for being so kind.

“We got along well for the first year, but then…” I frown, knowing this was my fault. “I was ready for the next step in life. Marriage.”

I should have known right then it was the beginning of the end. When I mentioned it to Derek, he kind of shut down as if I’d taken some part of his future from him. I thought maybe it was my insecurities creeping in, but Derek was also good at putting on a front for me. So, since he didn’t tell me no, I started planning our eventual wedding.

“I became obsessed with planning a wedding for us,” I tell Brayden, shame coating my voice. “When he’d come back from work, I’d launch right into the plans, how much it would cost, and who all we’d invite.” I close my eyes and sigh. “He started smoking. I should have noticed I was stressing him out.”

Brayden cups my cheek, thumb stroking over my flesh. “He had a mouth, babe. He could have spoken up at any time. Don’t carry the burden of it all on your shoulders alone.”

How is this eighteen-year-old guy so wise beyond his years?

“You’re right,” I admit. “The more he withdrew, the more I obsessively clung to him. It was growing more and more toxic, but neither one of us could stop it. One week, I was just sure he was going to break up with me. But then…”

My throat tightens with emotion. This part hurts too much. I hate thinking about it, much less talking about it. A tear leaks from the corner of my eye and races down my temple and into my hair.

His arm slides under my head, letting me use it as a pillow, and his face lowers to mine. “It’s okay,” he murmurs, pressing a sweet kiss to my lips. “You can tell me everything. I just want to know you, Casey. All parts of you, not just the ones everyone gets to see at first glance.”

I want to curl into him and cry my eyes out. He’d probably let me get away with it too. But I need to get this out. I can do this.

My bottom lip trembles. “I accidentally got pregnant. We weren’t even trying. It just happened. I knew it was a miracle from God.”

He kisses my lips and then my cheek and then my jawbone. It’s comforting in ways I’ll never be able to express my appreciation for.

“He changed for the better,” I explain, the tears freely falling now. “I thought we’d fixed us.”

I can’t say the next part.

“And then you lost it,” Brayden says for me. “I’m so sorry, Casey.”

The sob in my throat is pitiful and pained sounding. There’s no stifling it. It needs release, and in this wild moment under the stars, I let it go without fear of judgment. Brayden kisses me over and over as I let go of some of the pain clawing at my heart.

“I shut down after that,” I admit in a whisper. “I just wanted Derek to fix me—us—and he couldn’t. We drifted further and further apart. The only time we spoke was to argue. When he finally left, I felt like a failure on so many levels.”

---