Page 6 of All Jacked Up

“Yessss.” I drew out the word.

She began to squeal the way that only Jellie could. It was a giddy, ecstatic sound that made my mouth spread even wider across my face. She might possibly be more excited than I was.

“OH-MY-GOD! OH-MY-GOD!” she cried out with glee. “Howare you so quiet? I mean, this is what you wanted! Dreamed of! And you’re getting it at only twenty-four years old!”

I chuckled softly. “Not necessarily. The book could bomb. Then the publisher will have given me this advance, and it will never make their money back. What then? I’ll never get another publishing deal.”

That was my greatest fear. I’d put years into that manuscript. It had been rewritten and edited so many times that I had lost count. I loved every word … but what if no one else did? What if Arden was wrong? What if he was biased because of how he felt about me? My stomach turned with anxiety.

“Shut UP! You are brilliant! You have always been incredible with words. How many times did you save my ass, editing slash rewriting my papers for classes? A bajillion. You’re the rock star of words!”

Her enthusiasm helped ease my worry some, but it was still there. I knew it would be until it was released and had some moderate success.

“I just want to at least sell enough to make back the advance they gave me. I still think it’s too much, but Arden is adamant that it isn’t.”

“Only you, Noa. Not taking money that is being handed to you. When are you going to stop, look in the mirror, and see the woman you have become? It’s like you missed your transformation, and all you see is the girl you were when you walked onto campus freshman year. Even with that Hottie McTottie senior-editor boyfriend who adores you! That should be enough right there to see yourself clearly. You are a gorgeous, badass genius with words, and the world is about to find out! GOD! I wish I could be there when Ella and Bindie see your name on books in store windows! Bitches gonna be green!”

Ella and Bindie had been the mean girls in college. At least for me. They’d singled me out on day one and made it their missionto make me miserable. Having a roommate who became my best friend that was a powerhouse like Jellie had put a kink in their plans of destruction.

I sighed. “Well, that won’t be happening.”

“What?! Yes, it will!” she shot back.

I’d already made this decision. For many reasons. One being that if I failed, I didn’t want the world that knew Noa Raines, the loser nerd, had taken a chance and crashed.

“I’m using a pen name.”

There was a pause, then, “NOA! No! Please don’t! They all need to have it shoved in their faces!Like when I loudly mentioned, in Ella’s earshot, that Pike asked you out after he broke up with her, I want to continue to shove your success in her face.She was horrid to you freshman year. HORRID!”

I grinned and sat down on the sofa in the living room I shared with my three roommates. None of whom I had grown close to the way I had with Jellie.

“What Ella thinks of me or feels about me is of no importance to me. That’s the past. We grew up.”

“You might have, but Ella absolutely has not. She’s still as vile as she was in college. I follow her Instagram just to know what hex to put on the voodoo doll I had made of her.”

Rolling my eyes, I laughed. “You’re still using that doll?”

“I sure as shit am! I will do so until the day I die! Then I am taking it to the grave with me so I can haunt her ass. That is, if she doesn’t bite it before me. Which, if the universe is fair and just in the slightest, she will go years before I do.”

“We might need to get you a therapist for this,” I told her.

“Someone has to hate for you since you seem to forgive all those who have caused you pain. I took that position at nineteen years old, and I will be doing it at ninety.”

I’d once thought that I wasn’t missing out on anything by not having a friend. I had been very wrong. The day that Jellie hadwalked into my life was fate’s way of apologizing to me for the isolation that high school had been.

“I love you,” I told her, feeling my throat tighten up with a lump.

“You’d better, ho, because you’re stuck with me for life. Now, since I know already that I’m not going to be able to talk you out of this pen-name bullshit, what name are you going to use?”

I had thought about it for months. Even before the deal was finalized. And the name I’d come up with meant something. But only I would ever understand its meaning. There had been many different names I could have used; however, this one held significance. Jellie might have become my very best friend in the world, but there was someone before her who had changed me. Given me a confidence I hadn’t even realized at the time.

He had made me feel seen. Smart. Witty. Worth the effort. Even if it was never romantic. Ransom Carver had shown an interest in my mind. And that was where it all changed for me. I’d wanted to be the girl he thought I was. The one behind the words I texted.

“Juliette Romeo,” I told her.

“Huh, I like it. You’re giving a nod to your favorite Shakespeare work.”

No … I was giving a nod to the boy who had called me Shakespeare and the man who still did.

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