“He needs you,” she says again. Her gaze is pensive and searching. Determined, too. My heart beats harder. “These rookies are scared shitless their first year in the NHL. The guys are bigger and faster and meaner and want to win more. The pressure’s more intense. They were one of the best guys on the team in the minors or in college but now they’re back on the bottom rung of the ladder. And they’re alone. Ward’s the best coach I’ve ever worked with, but his attention is split between an entire team and staff.”
My throat feels tight as I think back to my first few years in the league, when everything was so uncertain. Walker’s an annoying, overconfident little shit—but I hate the idea of him being scared.
“Luca’s a good kid,” she says.
“I know.” I sound defensive.
“He needs you.” The piercing way she looks at me makes me uncomfortable. “He’s talented.”
And yet I can’t figure out how to help him.
She frowns out the window, chewing her bottom lip. It’s addictive, seeing the doctor like this, without her tough armor. Soft and thoughtful.
“He could be really great, you know?” Her wistful tone tugs at something behind my ribcage. “And you could be a part of that, if you wanted to be.”
“Halfway out the door to retirement? Glued together with pins and K-tape?” I’m baiting her, trying to get her to insult me. It’s easier when we play that game.
She shakes her head, still watching me in that way that makes me feel exposed. “He’d be lucky to get that far, Alexei. If he could have the career you’ve had, I bet that would make Walker and his parents very, very happy.”
Silence stretches between us. I don’t know what to say. I’m trying to think of some rude quip or comment but I’m coming up blank.
She called me Alexei again. She complimented my career.
We spend the rest of the drive home in silence, saying a stiltedgoodnightto each other before heading to our separate rooms.
When I get into bed, instead of passing out immediately like normal, I lie there for a long time, thinking about the way she looked at me when she told me Walker needed me, the emotion in her eyes, and how she called meAlexei.
CHAPTER 44
ALEXEI
First thing the next morning,I find the rookie in the gym, lifting weights. “Question for you, Walker.”
He checks his form in the mirror before starting another set. “Shoot.”
“Are you scared shitless?”
He freezes and his eyes meet mine. “What?”
“Are you scared shitless? Because this is your first year in the NHL?”
He blinks like this is the last thing he expected me to say.
All night, I thought about what she’d said. He doesn’t have a contract. He’s a free agent, so at the end of this season, Ward needs to decide what to do with him.
“Yeah. Of course I am.” His eyes dart to mine again. “This is my shot, you know? I screwed it up once and was sent back to the college team.”
Right. Darcy mentioned that when she was looking through his old game tape.
His throat works. “I don’t want that to happen again. I want to stay on the team more than anything.”
He meets my eyes, and Georgia was right—the rookie’s scared shitless.
A renewed sense of purpose courses through me. I can’t give upon this kid. More than ever, I need to help him succeed this season. I need to figure out how to get through to the rookie.
“You’ll get there,” I say for some reason. “You’re talented and smart, and if you’ve come this far, you know how to work hard. We’ll figure it out together.”
Walker gives me an odd smile, and I clear my throat, embarrassed.