Page 170 of Gloves Off

“I didn’t know you were such a Christmas guy.”

“I’m not.”

“You had a ton of decorations.” They were in the spare room, the one at the end of the hall, that we never go in. We spent all afternoon putting them up—when we weren’t getting distracted by each other.

“I asked Svetta to hide them there as they arrived so you wouldn’t see.”

“Why?” I’m gawking at him, to his amusement.

“I wanted it to be a surprise.”

Even as my heart pinwheels with delight, I give him a funny look. “We’re leaving in two days.”

“It’s our first Christmas together. We can’t do nothing.”

First, like there will be more. Like we’re a family. My dumb little hopeful heart lifts. It doesn’t change anything, though. If we’re together, I’m either watching him break bones and dislocate joints, or he’s not doing the thing he loves. Either option breaks my heart.

Marriage didn’t mean the same thing to Liam as it did to me, but what about Alexei? Would it be more of this, more quiet, intimate conversations, more laughter, more coaching soccer together and having our friends over for dinner?

He pulls me against his chest, and I force the thoughts away.

“I asked you once if you wanted kids,” he says carefully, and my body tenses. “And you didn’t really answer.”

I never thought it was an option,I’d said. My hopeful heart tries to rise again.

My throat works. He’s given me so much. Can’t I just be honestwith him? “It’s hard for women, because, um.” I falter. “A lot of women still struggle to have families and careers. I know it’s a decades-old problem, but it’s still true. It’s even harder when both parents put their career first.”

I want one, though. It’s a fact I’ve never admitted to myself because it was easier and less painful to pretend I didn’t care, but it’s the truth. I would love to have kids.

Especially with someone like Alexei. I picture him being a dad, playing hockey with them, cooking with them, carrying a tiny version of himself on his shoulders, and it’s an image so sweet, my chest hurts.

“What if you had the right person?” He searches my eyes. “Someone to share the work and support you in the way you need. A partner. Fifty-fifty.”

A partner, like what my parents have. God, I want it to be him. “With the right person, I would want kids.”

He looks at me for a long time. I’d give anything to hear his thoughts. “Me too,” he finally says. “With the right person, I want kids.”

We gaze at each other, something yearning and expansive behind my ribcage.

“Remind me to thank Ward for getting you guys home this morning,” I whisper, smiling.

“He didn’t. The flight didn’t leave Denver until an hour ago.”

I frown. After he hauled me upstairs this morning, showing me how much he missed me must have scrambled my brains.

“I drove to Salt Lake last night and rented a private plane.” The corner of his mouth twitches.

“You drove through a snowstorm by yourself?” I’m not even going to touch this private plane thing.

“Not by myself. The guys came with me.”

I sit up. “That’s dangerous. You could have been in an accident.” Worry tightens around my heart. “What if you got hurt?”

He gives me an amused smile. “I played two seasons in Montreal, Georgia. I know how to drive in the snow. Besides,” he eases me back down to lying against him, his hand in my hair, “I needed to get home to my wife.”

Well, if I hadn’t been in love with the man before, I am now.

CHAPTER 79

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