Page 98 of Until I Break

They say that when you face death, your life flashes before your eyes, but it doesn’t. The life I am losing is what is going through my mind. What if I survived? What if I had told them I was pregnant? What would my baby have looked like? Would I know by their looks who the biological father was? Will they be able to tell them I was pregnant when they do the autopsy to confirm the cause of death? Maybe they will tell them if it was a boy or girl so they can name our baby, too.

I keep pulling at the restraints with everything I have in me. Even when the water reaches me and I’m forced to take a deep breath as it gets above my head. I should give up and die while choosing peace, but I wasn’t built to give up. I will fight to survive until I break.

Thirty Two

Oscar

We’ve been pacing thisgoddamn hospital waiting room while the city police sit on their fucking asses. If we leave here, the new police chief will have us arrested. Carrie swore she would keep us updated, and she has. She tells us about her every movement. There is a lot she hasn’t told us, but it was for the girls’ safety. I trust she will find her, but I should be out here. I should be looking for her.

Poor Julian is going through all of the stages of grief right now. He switches from being inconsolable to enraged within seconds, but Calder is keeping him as calm as he can. Eliza is in surgery. They got her back soon after they got into the ambulance, and she never coded again as far as I know. The last update was that she was in surgery, and she was alive.

We all got complacent because we were desperate to live a normal life. We thought there was safety in numbers, so now Julian is blaming himself because he and Eliza snuck off to fuck in the alley. Truth be told, it would have happened either way. It didn’t matter how many people were around, because he had planned this for months. He was fully prepared to shoot Eliza and take Cassidy. Some things are inevitable when we don’t know what to avoid. We had no way of knowing what he would do and when. Hell, we didn’t even know if he was watching the girls. There was no sign of him anywhere.

I turn to make another pass across the room when I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I quickly pull it out to see I have a text from Carrie in the group chat.

Carrie

Tracker in her anklet. Lake Middleton. You are closer. Find a way out and go.

I look up at everyone and nod to Julian. I need him to make a scene so I can slip away. As if we are all on the same wavelength, he dramatically drops to his knees and screams out to God to save Eliza. He gets louder and louder until he finally catches everyone’s attention. When they all go to him, including the officers left behind to watch us, I slip out of the door. I then turn and bolt to the stairwell. As I race down, I call Carrie.

“You out?” she answers.

“Yeah. Running to the truck now. How far am I?”

“Ten minutes,” she says. “I am about fifteen away. Oscar, I don’t care if you have to run every goddamn red light and get the entirety of the police department chasing you. Get to that fucking lake.”

“What are you not telling me?” I ask as I bust out of the stairwell and run to the exit.

“An anonymous caller reported a camper van in the lake five minutes ago,” she says. “They literally just stopped at the lake, Oscar… He’s going to kill her. You need to get there.”

“Fuck,” I hiss as I jump into the truck. “At the truck. You are on Bluetooth.”

“They’re looking for you. They know you ran,” she says. “Don’t stop. The others are gone too.”

“Julian’s dramatic ass helped make a distraction,” I say calmly as I tear out of the parking lot. I weave around traffic, making people honk and flip me off as I drive like the biggest asshole out here.

“If you wreck, you can’t get to her. Be careful, Oscar,” she says.

“How fast are you driving, Carrie?” I ask.

“We’re not talking about me,” she says.

“Mhmm,” I reply. Talking helps me stay focused, so I do that. I tell her about Eliza being pregnant and dinner. I talk as thoughI am not about to possibly find Cassidy dead. If I lose her… I can’t. I simply cannot lose her. She is my fucking world, and I am nothing without her. I don’t want to live in a world without her, and I won’t. I love the others, but I have something with Cassidy that will leave me hollow if she dies.

“I’m here,” I say as I bounce down the only road that leads to the shore. When it opens up and I see Jason watching a van disappear into the water, rage takes hold, and I stomp on the gas. Jason turns just before I slam into him. I go a few more feet before slamming on my brakes and throwing the truck into park.

“It’s underwater. I hit Jason with the truck,” I say as I get out of the truck and run to the shore. Without hesitation, I dive down where I saw the van disappear and make my way through the murky water.

When I get to the camper van, I try to locate a way in. When I find the door, I pull myself in and see her tied to a table. Her body is limp, and her eyes are closed. When I get to her, I pull my knife from my jean pocket and cut the leather bindings. I keep the knife with me as I drag her out of the van and kick off to get us back to the surface.

I am gasping for air and coughing as I get her on the shore. It is dark, but the headlights from my truck have the area lit up. I start CPR, praying Carrie or really anyone gets here soon. I know she would have sent units here, but knew I would get here before anyone. By the time I hear others approaching, I am crying.

“Oscar!” Gunner screams as they run toward me. I ignore them and hold her nose while I blow into her mouth.

I let out a sigh of relief when she starts coughing and spitting up water. I get her to her side and pat her back, still focused on just her. As I pull her up to cradle her body, she clings to me. Emotions finally break out of me, and tears roll down my cheeks as I rock her in my lap.

“I’ve got you. You’re safe now,” I whisper tearfully to her. She is still coughing and gasping for air, but she starts calming down. I don’t even realize the paramedics are here until one kneels down and puts an oxygen mask on her.

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