Page 78 of Until I Break

Jasper sits on the ottoman in front of me and I frown at him. “What?” he asks with a smirk.

“Where the fuck did you come from?” I ask.

“I was checking in with patrol, and we heard you screaming,” he says softly.

“From the basement down to the gate?” I ask.

“No, we were on the property. I am parked beside Julian’s truck,” he says. “I called as I came up to the house, and Calder came and let me in.”

“Oh… I’m…” I start to say.

“No,” he interrupts. “You are not sorry because you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I… kinda did,” I say. I yelp when Julian pokes my side but respond by tightening myself around his cock, making him groan and drop his forehead to my back.

“You didn’t,” Jasper says, completely unfazed by what is happening.

“What happened?” I ask Oscar.

“What do you remember?” He counters.

“Uhm… Well, I had an orgasm. It shocked me, and I was suddenly flooded with memories of my dad. Someone pulled me up and hugged me, and… I spiraled fast. I was so angry, but I felt… pathetic. And gross. Not because of what y’all did, but because I reacted the way I did. I was scared because I would hear someone else upset. I was afraid it was you. I was afraid Ryan would find a way to take the blame for my reaction.”

“Well, when you had an orgasm, that quickly turned in to you screaming like you were in pain. That’s why you were pulled up like that. Ryan made a point to have Julian grab you instead of me to not feed into that co-dependency with our trauma. You started crying when he had a hold of you, and we thought you were hurt, but then the spiral led you to the same thing you did when you were sleeping, only this time it was more intense. You seemed convinced that he was in the room, like you were hallucinating. You were screaming at this manifestation to go away. If anyone in the room moved, it was like we were all a part of this vision. We ended up … Fuck… You were referencing ‘Daddy’ and sobbing as you begged him to stop because it hurt. Jasper was here by that point. He said you needed something toground you back in reality, so Julian got you over to the couch and pulled you into his lap. You relaxed instantly and laid there with him for a while.

“It didn’t feel like it was a while,” I say.

“He spent probably twenty minutes talking really quietly to you. That seemed to soothe you. Your eyes were open, but we knew you weren’t back yet,” Eliza says.

“I remember initially sitting down and someone laying a blanket on me, but then y’all started talking,” I explain. “Everything was… jumbled.”

“I am very confident that you have severe complex post-traumatic stress disorder,” Ryan says. “I think finding a psychiatrist who specializes in childhood sexual trauma and domestic violence would be a good idea. Getting regulated on medication would help you a lot, especially with your sleep. I’d imagine you’ve struggled with sleep for a while.”

“Yeah. Trey never mentioned me having nightmares, though. Like, ever. I feel like that would piss him off if I was constantly waking him,” I say.

“Leaving may have triggered them,” Ryan says. “The brain is so complex that anything is possible.”

“You had night terrors when you lived with me before college,” Oscar says. “One of us almost always ended up laying with youevery night. That’s why we got you into an off-campus apartment so we could come check on you.”

“You checked on me at night when I was in college?” I ask.

“Yeah. I came by almost every night to check on you after leaving work,” he says. “I should have just convinced you to stay with us, but I know you wanted to stand on your own.”

“That’s so fucking sweet, Oscar,” I say. “Really?”

“Yeah,” he laughs.

“Any updates?” Eliza asks Jasper.

“Not really. They are trying to locate a storage unit he rents. We only know the name of the place, but not the unit. They have over a thousand units, so narrowing that down will take time when they don’t want to hand over customer names to help,” he says.

“I didn’t even know he had one,” I say. “In hindsight, I didn’t really know much. I was just a dumbass who let him walk into my life with no information on him.”

I gasp loudly when Julian smacks my pussy, making direct contact with my clit. “Fuck. You asshole!” I screech.

“Call yourself a dumbass again,” he threatens.

“I’m going to leave before this takes a turn,” Jasper laughs and stands up. “Try and get some sleep. I am available if you need me. Paul and Otis are the detectives on shift tonight.”

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