“I will try,” I say. “I just don’t want to be a burden.”
“You will never be a burden, Leli,” he says before kissing me softly. Vash pulls me close, and I lay my head on his chest as he rubs my back. Being this close to him as we snuggle brings me into a lulled state, and my breathing evens out as I begin to fall asleep.
Chapter Thirty Nine
Volis
Day Two
WeallwalkintoVash’s house, and we are instantly greeted by the unmistakable sounds of a headboard smacking against a wall. I know it’s a headboard because I can hear the moans.
“Dear gods,” Dad sighs.
“To be fair, we did leave earlier than expected and forgot to text Vash,” Kira says.
“It’ll do her some good,” Striker says. “Maybe she will chill the fuck out.”
“Be nice,” Dad says.
“I am being nice. She’s been moving non-stop since Lilith was taken. She thinks she is slick and doesn’t know that we see she’s running herself ragged, but we all see it.”
“It’s just her response to trauma,” Brenna says. The house is silent finally, and Brenna laughs. “See? They finished. Now you can relax.”
“I worry about her,” Dad says.
“So do I,” Striker says with a sigh as he rubs his hands down his face. “She’s doing a great job leading, but she is suppressing a whole lot of pain.”
“Guys,” Brenna says. “You have to understand that for her entire life, it’s been all about Lilith. She is accustomed to hiding her feelings so that she doesn’t feel like she’s bothering you guys. She doesn’t know how to open up because she’s never let herself. It’s different now that she has Lilith and Vash, but she will always be reserved with you all because she likely doesn’t want to ever see you guys as broken as you were and currently are without Lilith.”
“I tried to balance everything,” Dad says. “I was so consumed with losing Lilith and Ashara that I failed her.
“No, you did not,” Striker says firmly. “That’s not what she is saying at all. She is just saying Leli put herself there as a way to try and protect us.”
“She shouldn’t be the one protecting us. We should be protecting her,” Dad frowns.
“I’m sure she feels the same way with you all,” Brenna says.
“I don’t really know you, but I can tell you are a great dad,” Kira tells Dad. “You care about your children and that’s more than some people can say.”
“You placed their happiness above your own, Maz,” Brenna says. “I’m not saying you failed anyone. I’m saying that she’s been doing things like this for much longer than you realize. You can only see it now because it’s dragging up her trauma, and she’s no longer able to hide how she handles stress.”
“Hey guys,” Vash says when he comes into the living room.
“Hey, man,” Striker says.
“Can I ask you all something?” Vash asks.
“What’s up?” Dad asks.
“So… Leli hasn’t eaten or slept since before Lilith was taken. She’s sleeping right now, and I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to get her to eat when she wakes, but… She needs to open up, or she’s going to spiral. She’s not handling any of this well at all,” Vash explains.
“That’s what we were just talking about,” Dad says.
“I got her to relax and she did open up some and talk to me, but she is reluctant,” Vash says. “She told me that she’s not sleeping because she keeps seeing Zypher raping her again.”
“Poor girl,” Brenna says.
“Yeah, and I’m at a loss on what to do to help her,” Vash explains.