Page 83 of Mortify

"How? He's been doing this for years. You think you're the first person he's fooled?" His hands frame my face. "You're a victim here, not a collaborator."

"Kirkja!" Runes calls from inside the chapel. "Now!"

"I need you to stay with the women," Regnor says. "Can you do that? Stay visible, stay safe?"

I nod, still reeling.

He kisses me hard. "We'll figure this out. All of it. But right now, I need to go plan how we're going to end this."

The doors tokirkjaclose behind them, leaving me standing in the hallway trying to process everything.

Dylan wasn't just an abuser.

He was a spy. A drug dealer. Akillerby proxy.

And I'm carrying his child.

"There you are." Mom appears with Astrid. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Something like that," I manage.

They exchange glances, then each take an arm.

"Come on," Astrid says. "Let's get some tea in you. You're shaking."

They guide me to the kitchen, settle me at the table with chamomile tea and shoot me some concerned looks.

"What happened?" Mom asks. "What did Tor tell you?"

"Dylan's been working with the Patriot," I say numbly. "The whole time. Our entire relationship was... God, I'm so stupid."

"You're not stupid," Mom says firmly. "You were targeted by someone very good at what he does."

"I brought danger to the club. To all of you."

"The danger was already here," Astrid points out. "Dylan was just one tentacle of it."

"A tentacle I was fucking," I say bitterly. "That I let into my life, my bed. That?—."

I almost blurt out the fact Dylan’s actually the baby’s biological father, but thank the Gods I stop myself.

Mom gets a phone call and it gives me the chance to get up and move around.

I can’t stay still today.

I can’t sit around and do nothing, so I help with laundry, play with the kids, anything to keep my mind off everything.

But every quiet moment, my brain circles back.

How many times did I tell him things about the club?

Innocent comments about where people were, what was happening.

How much information did I unknowingly give him?

How many people were hurt because of the intel I provided?

"Stop," Mom says, appearing at my elbow as I fold the same shirt for the third time. "I can see you spiraling."

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