Page 35 of Mortify

"I'm sorry," I whisper, hand moving to my still-flat stomach. "I'm so fucking sorry, little one. I tried to protect you. I tried..."

Time passes in a blur. I'm still on the bathroom floor when I hear a knock at my door.

Panic shoots through me until I check the time—2 PM.

It’s Vail.

I force myself up, splash cold water on my face, try to look less like my world just ended.

Hide the tests under the sink.

Check that my bruises are covered.

Paste on a smile that feels like broken glass.

"Coming!" I call, proud when my voice doesn't shake.

Vail stands at my door with a container of soup and a concerned expression.

She's still in her uniform, must have come straight from the station.

"You look terrible," she says bluntly, pushing past me into the apartment.

"Thanks. Really know how to make a girl feel special."

"I'm serious." She sets the soup on my counter, then turns to study me. "What's really going on, Everly? And don't say stomach bug. I've known you since you were a child. You've never missed this much work."

The lie is on my tongue, ready to spill out.

But looking at her concerned face, her genuine worry, something in me cracks.

"I..." The words stick in my throat. "I'm..."

"Oh honey." She moves closer, and I realize I'm crying. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"I'm pregnant."

The words hang between us like a confession.

Vail's eyes widen, but she doesn't look shocked, more like pieces are clicking into place.

"Okay," she says carefully. "Okay. Let's sit down."

She guides me to the couch, sits beside me, takes my hands in hers. "How far along?"

"I don't know. I just... I just found out. Today. Twenty minutes ago." The words tumble out in a rush. "I've been on birth control but something happened and I missed my period and I've been so sick and, Gods, please don’t tell my mom. I’m not ready to have that conversation yet, and Daddy, fuck, he’s going to kill me and him."

"Breathe," she instructs, squeezing my hands. "Deep breath. There you go. Another one."

I follow her instructions, years of EMT training kicking in.

Manage the panic. Stabilize the patient. Even when the patient is yourself.

"Does he know?" she asks once I'm calmer. "The father?"

The question makes me flinch. "No, not yet."

Something in my voice must give me away because Vail's expression shifts. "Everly, I… are you okay?"