Page 108 of Second Sin

Then hurl the glass at the wall.

It shatters. I don’t flinch.

I drag both hands down my face, try to shake it off, but it clings. Like smoke. Like guilt. Like the truth I’ve been running from since I first saw her in the locker room.

I never should’ve touched her.

But I did. Again and again. And I’d do it all over, because I never knew what it meant to feelaliveuntil her.

Now it’s gone.

She’s gone.

And I deserve it. Every goddamn second of this.

I get up. Stumble to the bar.

Grab another glass. Different bottle. Darker. Meaner.

Pour a shot without looking.

Don’t care how much. Just want it to burn.

Down it.

But the burn doesn’t even register.

The silence is screaming now. Ringing in my skull. Gnawing at the back of my eyes.

For one fucking second, she was mine.

The only thing that ever felt real.

Now there’s nothing.

Just this.

Whiskey. Darkness.

Memory looping like a curse.

Her voice.

Her smile.

I pace. Hit the wall. Barely feel it. My knuckles split. Good.

I want to hurt. Need to.

The room spins. Starts to tilt sideways.

Another glass.

I stare at the elevator for a long time, wishing she’d walk through it. Wishing I could take it all back. Not the feelings. Just the damage.

But the doors stays shut.

And the silence gets louder.

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