Page 62 of One More Song

I owe them more than this.

I owe everyone more than this.

But how am I supposed to be the man that everyone needs? It doesn’t feel possible.

Not wanting to add more pain to Ember’s already shattered heart, I grab the notebook on the counter and leave her a note. Telling her things I wish I didn’t have to say.

Dear Ember,

The first time I heard your name, I couldn’t help but think of what it means.

A piece of burning wood in a dying fire.

That’s me.

I’m the dying fire … and Ember, you’re the light, the glowing coal. And you deserve more than ash.

Right now, I can’t give that to you. God, I wish I could.

When we’re together, we’re a blaze.

And I don’t want us to burn to the ground.

I have to go and your life is here. I wish everything was different.

I wish that you were mine.

I’m sorry. So damn sorry.

Always,

Asher

P.S. Tell Cadence that I know I still owe her piano lessons and concert tickets. I promise I will make good on my word, Ember.

I pull the journal page from my pocket and tuck it in with the letter, then I close the notepad back up, and leave it where I found it. Brushing tears away, I try to pick up the pieces of my breaking heart before I grab my bags as I walk away.

On the plane, the guys give me space.

They see the pain in my eyes. Even Synn gives me a sympathetic look.

I take out my journal, knowing there is only one way to move through this heartbreak. Alcohol sure as hell won’t do a damn thing.

So I write another song for Ember. A song for us.

This one isn’t filled with promises.

It’s filled with longing. For what we could have been.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Ember

Cadence doesn’t understandwhy Synn, Saint, and Dusky said goodbye, but Ash didn’t.

I keep looking up at the house as we kneel side-by-side, planting the apple tree, thinking that any minute he will walk out here. Pull me in his arms. Tell me that somehow, we can make this work. That he chooses me. Chooses us.

I know he is getting released from jail this afternoon. Millie says reporters are live-tweeting it. My phone buzzes with a text and I pull it from my back pocket.

---