Page 9 of One More Song

Ash

It doesn’t matterhow many times I do it - staying in a new place never gets any easier. And believe me, I’ve had plenty of experience. Living on the road six months of the year, five years straight should have taught me a few things about sleeping through the night in a new bed. But insomnia is a bitch and tonight it’s as strong as ever.

Knowing the gorgeous brunette is downstairs isn’t doing me any favors in the restless sleep department. I can’t get her out of my fucking mind ... and truth be told, I don’t want to.

There’s something about her that sparked something inside of me. It’s not exactly poetic, but it’s fierce - this feeling. And after rolling around the unfamiliar queen-sized bed for several hours, I decide to try my ma’s old trick. Otherwise, I’m going to feel like shit tomorrow when the guys want to get to work.

And we need to work. Hell, Maryll is already breathing fire down all our backs and we’ve only been at this bed-and-breakfast for half a day. But considering the shit we’ve been producing this past year I get it. The fans will only be forgiving for so long.

Grunting, I pull myself out of bed and grab my Moleskin journal and a ballpoint pen. In low slung sweats and a basic white t-shirt, I head down the steps toward the kitchen. Might as well put the night to good use and stroking my shaft for hours on end isn’t making me feel any better.

What Ireallywant is Ember to slide into my bed, but hell, that woman has no interest in hooking up with me, even if her eyes say otherwise. She’s wound up so damn tight I have a feeling there’s only one way to release that tension. And considering she’s avoided me ever since returning from the park earlier this evening, it’s going to take a miracle to get close enough to make that happen.

So instead, I pour a mug of milk and put it in the microwave to warm up. Then I root around the cupboard until I find a jar of honey and add a few spoonfuls, sweetening it up just like my ma always did for me.

I carry it to the kitchen table and open my journal. The room is dim, lit only by a light over the oven. It’s well past midnight, inching toward two am, but I’m suddenly wired with nervous energy. I may travel a hell of a lot, but it’s been a long time since I’ve been to a home. And this place has definitely been made into one.

There are Cadence’s drawings hanging on the fridge, and photos of her at the beach, on a hiking trail, and in a dance recital tutu adorn the walls, all hung by Ember. Looking around, I feel a weight on my shoulders. It’s been too long since I’ve called my own mother.

It feels nearly impossible to talk to her right now. Since my indiscretions were splayed all over the media, every phone call we have is strained. And why wouldn’t it be? I fucked up.

Suddenly regret wells up inside me. My ma spent her life making my own as secure as possible, not unlike what Emery is doing with Cadence from the looks of this house. And how did I thank her? By a sex video leaking, for starters.

Sitting here, in this warm room, I feel inspired for the first time in a long ass while. Drinking my milk, song lyrics begin to wrap around my mind, and I find myself writing them out as quickly as they come.

Sweet child of mine, grown and gone,

Come back home before too long.

The light is on, the milk is warm,

The night is wild, let’s face the storm.

“Ash?”

I’m so lost in thought, Ember’s voice causes me to jerk upright.

“Sorry,” she says, moving closer. I look her over, tiny shorts and a thin tank top, her nipples poking right through, and my cock twitches at seeing so much of her skin, her curves, her petite frame. “I thought I heard something and couldn’t go back to sleep.”

“I didn’t mean to wake you. I just have a shit time sleeping.”

“Demons keep you up at night?” A smile plays at her lips and I lift my foot, kicking out a chair for her.

She sits down, and I’m glad she doesn’t resist. All evening as she sashayed around her kitchen, pulling out the casserole from the oven and tossing the salad, she seemed bent out of shape and annoyed. As if renting her house to a famous rock band is the inconvenience of her life. Except I still don’t think she has any idea who we actually are. And in a way, I’m glad.

“Not demons,” I say, smiling and setting down my pen, studying her. Her hair is down, cascading over her shoulders, and my fingers itch to get tangled in it. “More likefantasies.”

She stiffens at the word, but I see the way her cheeks fill with color, the way her breath hitches. The way she tries so damn hard to hide it from me.

I managed to find out a little about her through the kid. Not that I had to push Cadence to talk. Unlike her mom, she’s an open book. After dinner I’d sat on the covered porch with my guitar, and she’d danced around, telling me stories about the caterpillar in her classroom that would turn into a butterfly, the kid Ethan who’d cut a piece of her friend Emily’s hair, and her best friend Tabitha who’d lost both of her front teeth and now whistled when she spoke.

She also made it clear that her dad and mom hadn’t lived together in a long time. And from what I could gather, there hasn’t been another guy in her life since. I can respect that. My mom hadn’t allowed another man into our house after my father left. But I’d seen how lonely she’d been.

And hell if I don’t want to ease some of the loneliness I see in Ember’s eyes now.

But there’s also a part of me that knows I’ll just end up breaking her heart. And the thought slays me. She’s different than the women I usually surround myself with. For one thing, she’s not throwing herself at me.

But she’s also a mom. And when we leave in three months, that’s the one thing that won’t change. I need to do as little damage as possible while I’m here. Which means keeping my hands and my cock to myself.

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