Page 17 of Second Goal

This isn’t like the first kiss. It’s so much more. An inferno of sensations licking at my skin. I arch into him, needing the strength of his arms to hold me up. The desperation to be consumed by him goes against all common sense. Because I know the danger of needing someone. The danger of trusting another person. But I want this. Need it.

Need him.

“Blake,” I whimper against his mouth.

“Do you understand now?” His voice is low, needy.

“Yes.”

“I need to know this is what you want.”

“It is,” I whimper, nodding. “But...”

He pulls back slightly, gray eyes searching mine. “If we do this, I need you to trust me.”

Cold fingers of panic curl around me. “I trust you more than anyone. But...” My fingers curl in his shirt. “There are things I can’t tell you.”

“Whatever it is, it’s not going to change anything. But I need to be able to protect you. I can’t have secrets between us.” He lets out a heavy breath, those gray eyes so intense I can feel the pain of his words when he says, “And I can’t have another person lying to me, Kiley.”

What does that mean? Who lied to him in the past? I want to ask, to know more. But fear rises inside me, up my chest and burning my throat. Everything about him is demanding, intense, power. And as safe as I feel when I’m with him, I also know it’s only an illusion.

“I should...” Run. Hide. Bolt. Anything but let him see the demons that are scratching and clawing inside of me, desperate to get out.

He’s wrong, he would see me differently if he knew everything I’ve done.

Run.

Run.

Run.

“I...” I take a step back. “I should go.”

“No.” He pulls me back against him, cupping my jaw so I’m forced to look at him. “You’re locked out of your apartment, remember?”

“Blake, I can’t...”

“I know.” His lips press against the top of my head and he exhales heavily. “You don’t have to tell me everything right now. But eventually I’m going to need you to open up.”

“You won’t like what you find.” I chew on my bottom lip, wishing things were different.

He runs his thumb across my mouth, and I can feel his heavy bulge pressed against my stomach. I want him so bad. More of his touch. His kisses. More of everything Blake.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. Sorry for everything. For who I am. For who I can’t be. For not being able to give him the one thing he’s asked for.

But that’s what we are. Two broken people unable to give ourselves fully.

He doesn’t move away from me like I expect him to. And even though I can feel the tension in his body, see the frustration in his eyes, there’s also a tenderness there.

“What do you want, Kiley? Tell me what you need from me.”

I draw in a long, ragged breath, because the truth is, I have no idea what I need. All I know is I want him. Even if it’s just for tonight. I want him to hold me, to touch me, to kiss away the darkness that’s been eating away at my soul.

Maybe it’s selfish and greedy, because I know how this will end. I’m living here on borrowed time. One misstep away from my whole world crashing around me. And I don’t want him to be caught up in the fallout.

But even though I know I should be running as fast as I can, my heart and body feel tethered to him. I don’t know what would hurt worse, losing him or never having him at all.

“Kiley.” Blake’s head lowers, his lips caressing my jaw. The rasp of his beard sends pinpricks of sensations throughout my body. “Tell me what you need, sweetheart.”

---