Page 78 of Second Draft

I can hear Carter in the living room. Joshua’s soft coos in response to whatever Carter is saying to him.

My mouth tugs up when I take the last step, and see the two of them on the couch, Joshua in Carter’s lap as he reads to him.

Joshua’s eyes widen and he flaps his tiny fists excitedly when Carter flips the page.

I lean against the wall and watch them, my heart swelling.

This.

Carter.

Joshua.

My family.

It’s more than I’d ever thought I’d get. More than I ever thought I deserved.

I never saw Travis after what happened. He sent me a letter a few weeks ago, apologizing and promising he’d stay out of our lives. That he’ll never do anything to come between Carter and I.

In a way, I feel sorry for him. I know he lost in all this. Yes, he made some bad choices, but I hope one day that he and Carter will be able to reconcile.

I don’t know what that’ll look like, but I can’t live in fear. Carter is Joshua’s father now. Legally and emotionally.

He’s done everything for both of us during my recovery. Sometimes I’m awed by how easy he fell into the role. I’m still struggling a bit, but each day it gets better, and with Carter’s support, I’m learning.

My chest squeezes with how much I love him, both of them.

Joshua lets out a small squeal of delight, and Carter laughs with him.

Every time I see them together my heart does this little dance in my chest. Seeing the mountain of a man, with his dark ink, and rough calloused hands, being so gentle, makes me fall in love with him all over again. And I didn’t think I could love him anymore than I already did.

The epitome of everything my mother ever warned me about. I chuckle under my breath, because right from the start he’d been my hero, I just couldn’t see it.

As if sensing my presence, Carter glances over at me and smiles. “Hi.”

“Hi.” I grin back, my skin warming just from a single look. “It’s his naptime.”

“Awe, Mom,” Carter teases, “Just one more book.”

I laugh and nod watching him pick up another little cardboard book, and starting his exaggerated rendition of the ABCs.

For so long I’d tried to fight my feelings for him, fear motivating my every action. Always afraid that if I let myself believe in something good, that it would be ripped away from me. I’m not saying that it isn’t always a possibility. Life is chaos, and sometimes brutal. But hiding from happiness only guarantees you’ll never get it. Better to experience each moment fully, then to spend your whole life isolated and alone.

“Marry me,” I say, making Carter’s gaze jerk back to mine. I lick my lips, and repeat, “Marry me.”

His expression goes serious, but he doesn’t say anything, just stands and places Joshua in the playpen, then turns back to me.

“Ask me again,” he demands, stalking towards me, heat in his gaze.

I grin up at him and tease, “I’m only asking once, if that’s not good enough–”

His lips crash down on mine.

“Yes,” he growls against my mouth, kissing me harder.

I wrap my arms around his neck and give into the heat and possessiveness of the kiss.

His fingers tangle in my hair, and when he pulls back, I can see the elation in his eyes. No man has or will ever make me feel the way he does with one single glance. Like I’m important and cherished.

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