Page 36 of Seized By Solo

“Nigel was not a dad to us. I’m only ten, and even I know that what he was like was wrong. He hated us, Mum. When you weren’t in the room, he would often tell Ruthie and me that we were a waste of space and that he wished that you had lost us.”

My heart cracks wide open and I wail. My body shakes as my chest tightens. I feel someone lifting Ricky off my lap as I slide to the floor.

I had always believed that his abuse never touched the kids at this level. Yes, he would shout at them, but he never physically hit them. Not once did I see him raise a hand to them, only me.

I could take it. He had beaten my soul down enough that I could take it.

After we got away from him, that thinking made me see how badly I had lost myself.

Anger, sadness, pain, and all of the emotions seep into my body; my heart and soul wailing at the realisation I caused my kids to go through this. This is all my fault.

“This is my fault,” I repeat, out loud this time. “I could have left years ago. He took everything from me, and now he has taken my kids from me. Even in death, he is still causing me so much pain. It’s all my f-fault,” I sob as I struggle to breathe through the heartache.

My fists are clenched, and in the background, I can hear Ricky calling for me.

Strong arms wrap around my body. Leather and smoke hits my senses.

“You are not to blame for this, honey.” Tag’s voice comes through my haze. “He did all of this to you. He beat you down bit by bit, conditioning you to take the blame for his fucked up world. No domestic abuse victim, man or woman, is to blame for what they suffer. A bully knows what they are doing. They know how to speak and how to twist things. All bullies are narcissistic,baby girl. It’s their job to cause pain and harm to everyone around them. They latch on to a target and cause hit after hit to cause mayhem in people lives. What your ex did was at his worse. He knew he could hurt you in any way, but he also knew that you still had enough fight in you that if you saw him lay a hand on those kids, you would be gone.”

I nod against his chest.

“But I could have s-stopped h-him from yelling at them,” I stutter.

“You have to move on from that. I have seen these kids, honey. They are happy, and they know they are loved. Their smiling faces show everyone around them that they are doing so fucking well, and that is because of you, Elsie. You are a fucking strong mother for them.”

“Mummy,” Ricky cries.

I lean back a little from Tag and see my boy, snuggled in Nadine’s arms. She lets him go and he runs to me, falling into my lap. Tag holds us both tight.

“I’ve got you both. We have you all. The Royal Bastards MC claim you as family, like my son claimed you as his ol’ lady. You fall apart and the club will be there to watch the kids, but also to help put you back together again.”

Nodding, I pull Ricky tighter to my body, kissing his soft hair.

“We will be okay, Mum. Solo and the guys will make sure of it. They will bring Ruthie home,” my baby whispers.

“Yeah, sweetheart, they will. She will be okay. We all will.” I sniff and hold him tighter, like if I let him go, he will be taken from me.

“Come on, get up off the floor. My old bones can’t take this shit,” Tag gripes, but I can hear the humour in his voice.

He pulls Ricky up first then helps me to my feet. Before I can step back, he cups my face in his large, weathered hands and looks me square in the eyes.

“Family takes care of family, Elsie. You, my dear, are family.” He kisses my forehead before leading me to the couch, where the girls are sitting.

Nadine smiles at me, pulling me in for a hug when I sit next to her.

“Pres, I got a call from Click. She’s sending information to Solo about a possible location as to where the cunt took our club princess,” Box calls out.

Tag nods and steps away from us, going to see what information has been passed on. This Click that they speak of is a female. She is a whiz at computers and is with two men, one who is a patched member of the Unforgiven Riders MC.

“Mum, I’m hungry,” Ricky’s gentle voice sounds, pulling my gaze back to him.

“Why don’t we all go into the kitchen and see what treat we can whip up, yeah?” Nadine asks him and he nods.

“I could eat. This baby is sucking all of my energy,” Una whines with a smile on her face.

“I’m starving too. I’m wasting away. Maybe if I hold off on food for a bit, my arse will eat itself.” I giggle at Adele when she looks at me, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Your arse is perfect, girl. Mine could lose a few pounds,” I state.

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