Page 17 of Dex

“Dex,” I whisper, but he doesn’t answer me. I try again, “Dex.” He pulls away slightly and looks down at me. His eyes are wet and I can tell he has been crying. I bite my bottom lip to try and stop it trembling.

“They are bringing in the ultrasound machine, so we can see the baby. They need to see what is happening. You get to see her,” I explain. His face morphs into something I can’t read.

“This wouldn’t be the first time I get to see her if you had told me, now, would it?” I flinch at his words. I do not flinch - ever. But I am an emotional wreck these days. I knew he would hate me once he found out.

“No. I’m sorry. I knew you would hate me. But please, let me explain my reasons before you leave me.” Before he can answer me the door opens again and the nurse wheels in the machine that will let us see that our baby is okay. Dex steps back from me and I feel cold without him. But, I am used to that I suppose. Even with how we have been the last few weeks. I now feel like I have lost him all over again. I always knew there was the possibility that he would want the baby and not me. Liam’s words still ring in my head from that day. I see Lauren glaring at Dex, I can only imagine all the ways she is planning his death in her head. Joe isn’t looking too happy either. The nurse covers my legs with the hospital blanket and it feels heavy against my limbs. I lift my gown and I hear a quick intake of breath from beside the bed. I chance a look at Dex, to find his eyes glued to my rounded baby belly.

“So is this Dad?” the nurse asks, pointing to Dex. A tear slides down my cheek and I answer her.

“Yes. This will be the first time he will see the baby.” I keep my eyes on Dex, but he never looks away from my stomach. My heart is breaking for him. For me. I caused this pain between us. I should have listened to Liam. But I can’t change that now. We all do things for a reason. Sometimes that reason is the right one and other times it is the wrong one, but in the end, it is our reasons that matter.

“This will be a little cold.” She drops some of the gel on my stomach and starts moving the wand-thing around. The screen flickers a little before the grainy black and white image of my baby appears. “Okay, let’s hear the heartbeat shall we?” Again, the most amazing sound ever fills the room. My baby. Our baby’s heartbeat.

I turn away from the monitor and look at Dex; tears fall from his face. My heart breaks all over again. The fear of him walking away from me is too much. A loud sob breaks from my chest, making Dex look at me. His eyes are filled with pain and hate. Hate for me.

“The baby looks fine, Addison. The umbilical cord is flowing freely. I think you may have just had a small period. Some women bleed all the way through the pregnancy. Would you like to find out the sex of the baby?” Without breaking eye contact we both answer, “Yes.”

“Well, congratulations, you are having a baby girl.”

“I knew. I could feel it.” I peel my eyes away from Dex and look at the monitor again. Dex hasn’t touched me throughout the scan. And that fact alone makes my heart crumble to ashes.

This is my fault. My reasons were right for me. I just hope the thick headed arse listens to what I have to say before he walks away.

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