Page 10 of Dex

Sittingin yet another Doctor’s appointment, I survey the room. I hate being here, without him. The room is filled with pregnant women at various stages in their pregnancies. Some of the men are sitting proud as day sitting with their pregnant woman, others just really don’t give a shit and haven’t looked up from their phone yet. I look at one girl who cannot be much older than eighteen, the young lad sitting next to her is holding her hand and his knees are bouncing like crazy. I look from her to him and back and she smiles at me, sensing that I can work out his nervousness. Bless him, but at least he was man enough to step up. Hopefully he will stay by her and be a good boyfriend and dad. A pang of jealousy hits my chest as I sit here with my tiny, fifteen-week baby belly and wishing like fuck that Dex was with me.

I know some people will hate that I have kept the pregnancy from him, but I honestly don’t think he is ready for this. I am not one of those girls who forces a man to be in my life just because we have a baby. He is still grieving Fiona and I can’t make him want me. He has to want me for me. Maybe I should take Lauren and Joe up on their advice. They told me to try and build up a relationship with Dex over the phone and figure out where his head's at. I did a lot of thinking, and seeing these couples around the room makes me miss him more. I run my hand over my little bump and pray she is okay today. At my last scan the Doctors noticed that the baby was a little on the small side even at this early stage, but they did assure me that the baby’s weight will go up and down.

Our baby. I never thought I would be a mum. My childhood wasn’t exactly the best, but I will do right by this baby. She is now my entire world; with or without her dad in it.

“Addison Cole.” Someone calls my name. I pick my bag up off the floor and walk towards the door where the nurse is standing waiting for me. The worst that could happen, happens, when Liam and Penny walk through the door the same time I go for the handle. Penny gasps and looks down.

“What the fuck? Ads?” Liam says, looking between my face and my baby belly. I bite my bottom lip to stop it from trembling.

“Don’t say anything please, Li. He can’t know.”

“Are you shitting me right, now?” His voice is angry, his brow dips and his lips pinch together. I shake my head and look at my feet.

“Liam, enough. You’re scaring her. Addy, we will wait outside for you and then we will talk.” I nod my head and walk through the door without a backward glance. I try to smile at the nurse as she waits by the door for me but I fail epically.

“Are you okay, Addison?” I nod my head and answer.

“I’m good, just bumped into someone I didn’t want to see.”

“Old boyfriend?” she asks. I can’t blame her for being curious. I would be the same. I shake my head, no. “Okay, then. Hop up onto the table and we will see what this baby is up to today.” My heart flutters at the thought of seeing my baby. But then the guilt hits me when I look at the empty ‘dad’ chair. I pull my vintage green ‘Rush’ t-shirt up and push my leggings down over my baby bump. The nurse fiddles with the machine and then picks up the gel.

“This will be a tad cold.” She smiles warmly at me. She squirts the gel on my belly and starts to rub the wand over my bump. “Okay, there the baby is. It is looking good. Let me just measure the length.” I wait in silence, staring at the monitor. I can see my baby, well as much as the grainy black and white image lets me. Dex’s face pops into my head and my smile drops. Would he be happy to be a father now? Would he want to be with me formeand not just because I am carrying his baby? Would he be pissed at me for keeping this from him? Would he actually be a good dad?

Fucking hell, so many questions.

“Well, Addison, the baby is measuring on the smaller side but like the Doctor told you, this may change again, but try not to be so worried. Babies are so unpredictable.” I nod and she looks back towards the monitor. She clicks the buttons a few times and then leans over to pick up my new images of my baby girl. I thank her and leave the room, dread hitting my stomach, knowing that Liam and Penny are waiting for me. The only thing that is keeping me from having a full-blown panic attack is the photos in my hand.

I step out of the lift and see Liam pacing back and forth in front of Penny. I stop in my tracks and watch him. His shoulders are bulging in anger. Fuck. I walk towards them and Penny sees me first. She snags Liam’s hand and nods her head in my direction. Lucky for me, Penny never lets his hand go as he tries to step towards me. My breath catches in my throat. Liam has never made me afraid of him, but right now I am fucking scared of the bloke. He angrily points to the main entrance and I nod my head. He helps Penny to her feet and she offers me a small smile. They don’t wait for me, they just walk out. I follow behind them, my heart beating a mile a minute in my chest. My palms are sweating like crazy. I am scanning the car park, half expecting Dex to come out of nowhere screaming at me for keeping the pregnancy from him.

Liam and Penny are standing next to his Jeep. Liam is looking fucking angry because of my secret. I don’t know what Penny is doing because Liam has me locked in a gaze that even Mike Tyson himself would cower from.

“What the fuck are you thinking?” he spits out. Okay, then, no ‘how are you, Addy? How is the baby, Addy?’ Dick.

“Liam.” Penny says his name, her voice lowering in warning.

“Don’t ‘Liam’ me, Bambi. She knows what she has done wrong.”

“She is still a pregnant woman, Liam. And I will not stand by and watch you scream and shout at her, getting her upset, it isn’t good for the baby.”Oh I love you Penny Miller.

“Fuck. Fuck.” He grips the back of his neck. This man took care of me when I was a little girl and here I am repaying him, by asking him to do to the unforgivable.

“He can’t know, Li.” He spins around to face me and Penny gasps.

“WHAT?”

“He isn’t ready for this.” I motion at my baby bump. “He can’t let go of Fiona. What the fuck makes you think he will take on a baby with me? He will never let her go. And I am not going to be with a man just because we have a baby together.”

“True. Maybe he will just want the baby! But he deserves to know.”

Holy fucking shit. That one hurt.

Where the fuck did this pain come from? I stumble back at his words, like he just did some kind of expert karate kick to my chest. I lean against the car behind me, and take deep breaths.

“Oh my God, Liam,” I hear Penny screaming his name. I can’t see her, the black spots are filling my vision, breathing is becoming harder to do. My legs feel like jelly and I can feel them give way, but I never hit the floor.

“Fuck, I got you. Addy, look at me. Look at me, chick.” I blink a few times and bring my face up so I can see Liam’s face. “That’s it. Good girl. Breathe in for me, slowly breathe out. That’s it.” I do what he says, trying to regain my senses. Anxiety is a bitch. Liam smiles a sad smile at me and I take in one last deep breath. I struggle to get to my feet, so Liam and Penny help me. I smile at Penny as I pull away from Liam, his touch making my anger surface. I hate what I am about to do, but it needs to be done. This is about Dex, me and the baby. No one else matters.

I look him dead in the eyes and unleash my threat.

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