Page 3 of Tangled Desires

We worked until the sun went down. I was tempted to set up a few lights and keep at it. Except I’d be useless tomorrow, muscles sore, joints aching, and too tired to get out of bed. The closer I get to forty, the longer it takes to recover. So, the crew and I packed our tools into our respective work trucks. I learned a long time ago that while having a storage shed on site to keep everything handy, it comes at a price, one I’m not paying again. We’d locked everything up using heavy duty locks and all, yet still, the thieves used a grinder and cut through the metal on the backside where no one could see if they drove by. That shit was a nightmare, one I’ll never repeat. I also never recovered the tools that were stolen or the money it took to replace them all.

“Figured I’d find you here.” I’m sitting in a booth at Twisted Oak, a bar in Whispering Oaks, with a bottle of beer in front of me, realizing the things I used to do aren’t fulfilling me anymore. I’ve already quit playing footloose and fancy free, as my grandmother would call it. In other terms, quit being an idiot, find a woman to settle down with,and stop looking good for right nows, and stumble upon a forever kind of good. The dissatisfaction caught up with me. The next morning, I’d wake up with nothing but regrets and a feeling of emptiness.

No one knows that while I joke about being the playboy of the group and never wanting to settle down, those times have come and gone. It’s been me and rosy palmer for so long I can’t even remember.

What’s fucking next?

The adrenaline rush I need to quit making my heart pound. After this past weekend, that very well might come true.

“The cavalry send you?” I ask Luke as he slides into the seat in front of me.

“Nah, figured I’d find you here when you didn’t respond to my text outside of the group chat. You good?” The doctor isn’t in his usual scrubs and white coat, which means he did the same thing I did. After work, I went home, stripped out of my work clothes, tossed them in the laundry room, and headed straight for the shower. Twenty minutes later, I’d washed the dirt and sweat off my body, walked out of the bathroom and through the house. I didn’t bother with wrapping a towel around my waist or putting on clothes. There wasn’t any point when I’m the only one who lives there, and Jude’s fancy alarm system he installed alerts me when someone pulls down the drive. I moved through the house, heading for the back patio, needing the outside noise to help drown out the too quiet house.

It took me two minutes to realize staying in for the night would be out of the question, and now here I am.

“Yeah, I’m good, brother. You?” Luke quirks an eyebrow in question to my response.

“Never better. You want to talk about anything in particular?” I nod my head to the waitress when she signals to ask if I need another. I respond with two fingers, knowing Luke has the same taste as I do in beer.

“Not necessarily.” It’s the cold fucking truth, too.

“Alright. You at least have a good trip?” Luke brings up another subject that has me ready to call it a night. Except I won’t. I’m not that much of an asshole to leave him when he only got here and it’s clear he only stopped after seeing my truck in the front parking lot.

“Wasn’t bad. Went by too fast, like most weekends do. You know how that goes.” Five days of work and two days of downtime is never enough, not for anyone, if you ask me. I’d prefer to work Monday through Thursday, from sunup to sundown, but nobody else does in the business world.

“Yeah, well, I’ve been on call the past two weekends and don’t see an end in sight.” The waitress sets down our drinks, we both take a healthy sip, and he continues on, “Two more weekends, and then I’ll be back to the normal schedule. Remind me next time not to trade favors with my partner. It always fuckin’ backfires.”

“Sucks, man. Wish I could help you, but I’m thinking what I know about a woman’s body and what you know about a woman’s body are two different things,” I grunt.

Luke laughs before taking a long pull of his drink. I do the same, and we sit in comfortable silence. He’s got his eyes on another area in the bar, probably doing similar to what I am, getting lost in a mindless game and zoning out.

“You eating here or at home?” he asks a few minutes later.

“Here. Definitely here.” I haven’t opened my refrigerator since well before I left to head to West Virginia, and truth be told, I’m not looking forward to cleaning out the fridge or the grocery shop I’ll need to do tomorrow.

“Same. I’m at the clinic or the hospital more than I am home. Once this shit is over, I’m going in hibernation, staying away from restaurants, fast food joints, and hospital food,” he states.

“I need to do the same, but not tonight.”

“I can drink to that.” He looks for the waitress to place our order, and my mind drifts off again, thinking about a woman, and not just any woman. A woman who’s been out of my life longer than she’s ever been in it. Fucking hell, maybe I should have stayed out of town a hell of lot longer than a couple of days. At least then, my mind wouldn’t be on my past.

2

LYRIC

It took me forever and a day to deal with everything Mom and Dad related. A last will and testament is well and fine until you have to file so many different documents and request extra copies of everything under the sun while simultaneously boxing up your life. A task I tried to deal with after Mom’s death and Dad’s diagnosis, only it confused him more than anything, making it come to a screeching halt. You’d have thought with as many times as my parents and I moved throughout the years, they’d have pared down a lot of furniture, décor items, and clothing. That couldn’t be further from the case. I would characterize their style as maximalist. Every wall had so much artwork, every cabinet was filled to the brim with pieces from traveling, and their closest were so full there’s no way either one of them could fit another article of clothing.

I’d slowly donated a few things here or there, mostly when Dad had a good day, and I wouldn’t remove anythinghe’d notice. It still didn’t put a dent in what I’d call the aftermath.

Naomi, who didn’t have to stay as long as she is, has truly helped out the most.

She’s a saint amongst us mere mortals.

She also said the first thing I should do is pick and choose what I’d want to keep for myself, then go through all of the personal items I wouldn’t want anyone to have. Then shred or burn documents before calling a company to hold an estate sale. As much as I’d have liked to stay while they held the event, Naomi advised against it, instead, we went and enjoyed a spa day, her treat. Where she opened up about the dates she’s been going on with Scott Bennett, my parents’ attorney. I crossed my fingers in hopes she’d fall madly in love with him, uproot her life, and move to the States.

Selfish, I know, but I’d love to have a piece of my mom here even though I’m now moving states away. Still, she’s well past due to find a happily ever after. Naomi has been single forever, well, besides having a few long-term boyfriends. She’s never had a husband, and she doesn’t have children. I remember once I hit the age of seventeen, she and my mom brought me into the fold, which meant there wasn’t a subject they held back on.

It's where I learned Naomi had been put through the wringer in her childhood, with a mom who never protected her from her predator of a father. I had to hold back my gasp and blink the tears away before she noticed. Where my childhood and my mother’s were normal, minus us moving around every so often, Naomi didn’t have the loving home every child deserves. Which is why my mom always said herbest friend is worthy of all the happiness in the world, and now it’s me repeating those words to her.

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