Page 16 of Tangled Desires

“These.” I pull out a stack of envelopes that are tied together with twine. Jagger rips them out of my hand, pulls the string, and lets them fall out.

“They’re sealed. You mean you never opened them?” Jagger’s big body crowds me, scooting until his legs are on either side of mine, thumbing through them one by one.

“No, I never got any of them. I sent yours, but when I didn’t receive a response, well, I figured you moved on.” He continues shuffling through the envelopes, reaching the bottom of the stack. “Wait a damn minute.” I started tolounge against Jagger’s chest when I spot my handwriting in the stack.

“Fuck.” Jagger’s composure remains stoic, minus the tightening of every muscle in his body. He’s tense, and I’m sure if I took the time to look over my shoulder or spin around, his jaw would be locked tight.

“That’s about the size of it. I wish one of my parents were around so I could get to the bottom of this.” I highly doubt my mother would do anything to persuade Jagger and me not to communicate. We were thousands of miles apart; it’s not like we could have run off together into the sunset and get married without them noticing. That leaves me to believe my dad could be the person behind this, and God, do I hate to think badly of him. Especially with his disease, unless maybe this could have been part of it?

“Me too. That only leaves me with one other question. What about the phone calls?” This time, I do move, resituating myself with my legs going over his, my dress lifting up, showing a whole lot of thigh. When I got dressed this morning, it was for the reason of staying cool. Jean shorts are miserable on the best of days, and with most of my clothes being packed away, my sundress seemed like the best idea. Jagger’s low grumble proves me right, that and the fact he’s been unable to stop touching or staring at me. I think I’ll make a mental note to add another ten or so dresses to my wardrobe.

“What phone calls? I never got a call from you,” I say, one hand cupping his cheek. I place the other over his heart, feeling it beat and wishing it were my head lying on his chest.

“And yours said the line was disconnected. At that point, I didn’t even tell my mom. I knew they were friends and talked; she’d already known about the lack of mail.” Jagger is real, raw, and honest. I can see the toll this has taken on him, the worry lines that are currently marring his face, and now I know the reason he was like a light switch flicking on and off last weekend.

“God, we’ve lost all this time.” I leave my sentence open, unsure if I should apologize, hug him, or cry. Maybe I should do all three. It wasn’t his mom or dad who kept him away; it was mine. Shit, this hits me deep in the chest. I put my life on hold for them, and while I don’t regret a second of it, I’m still left wondering why they would do something like this. I take a moment, realization hitting that I need to be the one to start the conversation. While it might not be my fault, I could have and should have done a lot of things differently once having the Internet at my fingertips became easier. Except I was scared and let my insecurities get the best of me.

“Jagger.” His eyes close for a minute, and it hurts like hell to watch what I think is him closing down. When he opens his blue eyes, they aren’t like his usual crystal clear; they’re dark and stormy. The only hope he gives me is his arms wrapping around my back, the letters scattered on the ground between us, and he pulls me into the comfort of his body.

“Don’t you dare apologize, Lili. This isn’t your fault, and it’s not my fault. I’m not accusing you, and I’m not blaming your parents. It burns like hell, but they’re gone, and there’s nothing we can do to change the past. There’s a slew ofthings we could have done to change the turn of events, and maybe, the way this went down, it’s what was meant to be until now.” My ankles hook around his lower back, barely. Comparing his size to mine is hard; the only way to describe is I’m small enough to curl into him, and he’s big enough to wrap me up.

“You have to blame someone. Letting this go as easily as you seem to…” My fingers tangle in the loose ends of his hair. The soft strands aren’t knotted; they’re silky smooth, and it makes me wonder why guys have it all. I bet he uses one of those all-in-one deals that has body wash, shampoo, and face wash mixed together. Meanwhile, I have shampoo, conditioner, a hair mask, a leave-in conditioner, and then heat protector. Still, my hair isn’t as soft as Jaggers. I’m also insanely jealous of his long eyelashes, curled naturally, thick instead of sparse, and seriously, his eye color, it’s what a girl with dark hair can only dream to have. Yes, there is science behind it, but since neither of my parents had blue eyes, I’m destined for green. I guess that whole saying you always want what you can’t have is true.

“Can and will. Shit happens. What good is it to blame people who aren’t on this earth anymore? It’s clear as fuckin’ day you didn’t know.” Jagger’s hand slides around my lower back and moves upward, and in doing so, he pulls me closer. His voice, a deep cadence, does nothing to cool down my overheated body. Plus, there is the fact that I can quite literally feel him pressing against my core. I squirm, the verbal foreplay and semi kind of phone sex we, I mean I, had has done nothing to calm my desire. If anything, it’s only awakened it even more. I’m like a dog in heat, ready to bemounted, to surrender to Jagger’s control and let him have me any way he wants. “We could go round and round over all this shit, but nothing’s going to change. While you couldn’t control where the letters went or our numbers being blocked, that didn’t mean the resources weren’t there for me to do my own due diligence.”

His words sound amazing, they really do, and if it weren’t for him helping me roll my hips with the pressing of his palm on my back and the other glued to my side, I’d form a coherent sentence. As it is, words are hard. The only thing I’m able to do is nod and attempt to contain my moans, all while holding his gaze.

“Jag.” My body takes control. No longer am I thinking about rights or wrongs. The man beneath me with a body built like a Viking, a face that no doubt turns female heads, and when he talks, it’s what miracles are made from.

“Settle down, or we’ll be breaking in your bed right here and now.” His jaw tightens, and he’s no doubt grinding his teeth while he’s at it. Jagger’s at war with himself, unwilling to make the decision he literally laid out a moment ago. I search in the deepest crevice of my existence, doing something I’ve never dared before. Especially because besides Jagger, I’ve basically didn’t have as many experiences as most women have; it left me feeling cold and alone. I closed myself off, deciding to just take care of myself on my own terms. Then life went to shit, and I was busy surviving. Being put on the back burner causes you to lose a certain aspect of your life.

“Says the man who’s cocking his hips, arching into my center, and giving me more without asking.” My back arches,and my hands leave his hair, trailing down his chest. Every muscle of his ripples with each inch I travel. He licks his lips, holding his tongue between them, watching what I’m doing, and he probably thinks I’m going to attack his cock when the tips of my fingers slide from his shirt to his jeans.

“Motherfucking fuck,” Jagger’s groan echoes through the quiet room. The only other noises are the ceiling fan whirling and the quiet hum of the air conditioning. I grab the hem of my dress and slowly pull it up. My thighs shiver when I sit up to pull the fabric away from my ass. I cross my arms in front of me and do what I’ve been building up the courage to do. All at once, I whisk the offending clothing over my head and off my body. I’m on my knees in nothing but a nude-colored thong.

“You mentioned something about breaking in a bed?” The woman I am right now is bold, confident, and going after the man who’s made her feel more alive than she ever has before. I only hope I’m not making the biggest fool out of myself to date.

“Yeah, and we’re going to be using it. I hope you’re prepared for me, Lili, because once I get started, I’m not going to stop,” Jagger says as he dips his head. Silly me thinks he’s going for my lips. His mouth wraps around my nipple, sucking it deeply into his mouth. The sensations shoot right to my center, and I’m instantly trying to get closer to him in order to relieve the ache between my legs.

“Jag, I want this. I want us,” I say on a long sigh. He scrapes his teeth on my wet nipple, lifting his head for a moment to look into my eyes.

“You’re sure? One hundred percent positive?”

“Jagger Steele, should I get on my knees and beg in order to show you how fiercely I want you?” My words are spoken with conviction. Jagger lifts us both up, his massively strong arms wrapping around my waist. My thighs open for him to settle between them, allowing me to feel his thick dick yet again.

“Now, you’re going to get it.” His chest rumbles when he speaks as he walks us toward the bed; it doesn’t take long. These older houses weren’t big on huge bedrooms, preferring to use the space in the living areas, and while I grieve the thought of losing Jagger like this, I know it’ll be worth it.

“I’m more than ready to get it.” He places me on the bed, and the mattress bounces when he comes down between my legs.

“Taking those off,” he murmurs, looking down the length of my body. “Next time, I’ll rip them to shreds, or maybe I’ll use my teeth. The possibilities are fucking endless.” I’m not sure if he’s talking to me or himself. What I do know is that I like it all the same.

“Yes, please.” I writhe, hoping it spurs him on.

“Impatient thing today, aren’t we. Kind of like when you were fingering this sweet pussy while I was on the phone. Hmm.” Jagger’s mouth meets mine, tender with just a brush of his lips, teasing me slowly. I’m ready for more, as in flip him over until he’s on his back and I’m the one exerting all this pent-up energy that’s burning inside of me. Finally, the hunger takes ahold of him, judging by the unapologetic way he takes my mouth, his tongue exploring mine, giving chase with every stroke we take. I’m breathless, he’s groaning and rocking his hips, and I’m lifting my body to meet his. Theonly way to describe the kiss of all kisses is raw and urgent. Full of heat, our movements laced with tension for our mutual want for one another.

“Jag.” The ache lingering in my voice is apparent when he pulls back.

“Yeah, panties, clothes, and my mouth all over you, in that exact order.” He moves like a panther, with stealth, patience, and precision, planting kisses along my heated flesh along the way. He stops near my center, tongue sliding along the edge of my panties, and I’m wondering if he’s going to use his teeth like he threatened. Sadly, I’m wrong. He sits back on his haunches, hands going to my hips, his calloused fingers dragging along my skin as he takes the last piece of clothing off my body. “Jesus, fuck, nothing could have prepared me for this, not a single damn thing.” Jagger says, looking from between my legs to my eyes before bringing the fabric to his nose, inhaling deeply as if my scent is his dying breath. My pussy spasms, wanting him more now than ever.

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