Page 20 of Tangled Desires

“Yeah, I guess so, now that you mention it. We all started Jagged Edge together. It transcended into their own thing, whether it’s because one had the capital or they needed the money to get their own venture started. We all put in the effort, and luckily, it paid off.” I’m not sure it’s got anything to do with luck; it’s clear these guys work, and they work hard. I may have left college when Mom got sick, but I still kept at it, transferring to a local college, and enrolled in classes that wouldn’t interfere with doctor’s appointments and spending time with her. It meant it took me longer, and I’d been well on my way to starting on my next leg of the journey when Dad’s diagnosis came through. I’d had dreams and aspirations; my next stop was to get my bachelor’s degree, then master’s, and from there, I’d do my clinical fellowship to finally become a speech therapist. Things changed, life happened, and while I could still go back to school now, the thought no longer appeals to me. I’ve been around enoughdoctors, patients, medical staff, and hospitals to last a life time.

“You okay?” Jagger asks when I remain silent.

“Yeah. Thinking about my own life and how things change so quickly.” I shrug my shoulders. “Please continue. I want to hear about everyone else. There’s Matthew, Jude, Crew, and Luke, right?”

“We’ll come back to that. Matthew is an estate lawyer but has no problem dabbling in other areas, family law to be exact. He’s stepped up for Kenny and Winnie without blinking an eye. He’s still single. There’s been chatter about his cleaning lady, but nothing’s confirmed yet. Which leads me to Jude. The man is like a dog with a bone. He let me know the minute the house was transferred into your name and when you came back. He hacks everyone’s shit, phone included. The only way to get away from him is to turn off every single device, put it in a different location, and he’ll be none the wiser.”

“Wow, I meanwow. You probably knew about the house before I did. I found out through the reading of the will. Mom really dotted all heri’sand crossed all her t’s.Her best friend, Naomi, didn’t even know. Apparently, the money Dad made was put into an account to pay the bills down here, and I controlled the ones in North Carolina as his power of attorney. She made it nice and easy probably because when she was sick, Dad was already in the early stages of being diagnosed. Mom knew I would take care of him, so she tried to relieve me from dealing with everything else.” I absolutely hate that she did all of this instead of focusing on herself,except that’s who my mom was, and I’ve got a lot of her in me.

“That’s what she wanted, though, Lili. You know that, right?” Jagger’s hand circles the nape of my neck, where he flexes his fingers, then he shifts his hips, and I get the hint. He wants me closer. His lips touch mine, soft and sweet, and my eyes close. Jagger reads me like a book, always two steps ahead of what I need.

“Yeah,” I whisper against his lips.

“Good. I get you’re still handling stuff and working on yourself. What you may not realize yet is, you’re not doing it alone.” This man, his words, he’s better than anything in this world. Not even the most expensive chocolate could make me trade him, and that’s saying something because my love for chocolate runs deep.

“Thank you.” He pulled back a moment ago, still making good on his threat for us to wait till our conversation is through.

“Don’t gotta thank me. I’m right where I wanna be. Should I continue?” I nod. “Crew is an engineer, has his own firm, and I don’t have much to report on anything love life wise or what he does besides work and hang out with us. I’ll have to pester the shit out of him next time we’re all around each other.”

“Well, I’ll leave that part to you,” I reply teasingly before getting serious. “Jagger, I have to tell you something, and this may change things between us. In fact, I really think it will, and I hate that I’ve only gotten you back, and this could very well end us.” I need to tell him. His friends have children, he’s surrounded by them, and damn it, he would be the bestfather to anyone he fathered, and I hate that I could take this away from him.

“There’s nothing that bad, Lili.” His hand sifts through my hair. He pulled the hair tie out earlier during our hot and heavy make-out session in the kitchen. His hands were on my waist, ready to lift me up on the counter, when his phone rang. I scurried out from under him, kicked my shoes off by the door, and meandered around the house until he finished his call.

“I don’t want children.” I close my eyes, unable to see the look he’ll no doubt give me. If this is the last time I have Jagger Steele in my life, I want to remember all the good and none of the bad.

“You motherfucker! I can’t believe you did that. Do you know how stupid and incredibly dangerous it is to base jump? You had no service, and none of us fucking knew. We’re damn tired of you going off grid, getting your rocks off for some kind of messed-up thrill where you could wind up dead.” Jagger lifts his body up, taking me with him. I end up straddling his waist. My head turns over my shoulder, and the color drains from my face when I put all the pieces together. Luke is standing in the open doorway, seething with range and worry. Rightfully so, too.

“We’ll talk about this later, promise. That’s Luke, and he’s going to need a doctor himself when I’m through with him.” Jagger drops a kiss to my lips, picks me up, places my on the couch, and storms over to Luke. I see Shadow start slithering toward the door that’s standing open while the two men have a glaring match. They probably don’t even realize we could have an escape artist on our hands. I scoop her up,bring her close to my chest, and sink onto the floor, my back meeting the couch, where I think about the news I just delivered and the news I had slung back via Luke.

Jagger Steele is trying to kill himself. Well, that won’t be happening on my watch. I stand up, spin on my heels, and march toward my man, clearing my throat along the way.

“Please close the door while you two have a stare-off competition. I have something to say.” That breaks them out of their whatever-you-call-it haze.

“Holy fuck, Lyric,” Luke says. Apparently, he didn’t see me on the couch with his friend. Interesting. He was so upset his sole focus was on Jagger. These guys. Not a lot has changed in the years I’ve been gone.

“Hi, it’s good to see you. What is this?” I place Shadow on the ground, clearly upset with all the noise seeing as how her claws have come out to play.

“It’s Luke pissing me off.” Jagger looks toward the ceiling, shaking his head.

“What’s that? Did you get a woman and a cat without telling any of us?” It comes off as a question, but there’s no denying Luke’s voice has a teasing tone now; the frustration has seemed to vanish.

“Back to me. We’ll answer that in a minute. Jagger Steele, I swear to God, if you’re trying to take yourself out of this world on purpose, I’ll murder you myself. How could you be so negligent? Do you not realize what a gift you are? I’ve lost everyone. I’m not losing you, too!” I scream-shout. Jagger tries to stop me when I scurry around his big-bodied self, but I dodge him and run toward the hall, pumping my arms and looking for a way out, for a way to ease this achebuilding inside my chest. He never gave me an official tour of house. When I wandered around earlier, I stayed in the living areas. Right now, I’ve got tunnel vision, looking for the darkest place there is, where I can cry or scream into a pillow, cry my heart out, and hide all at once. I happen upon what I’m assuming is his bedroom. There’s a massive bed, his scent surrounds me, and I close the door before diving headfirst into the mattress. I crawl upward, pushing the comforter and sheets down along the way. My eyes close, and the tears come, one after the other. I let them, all while burrowing into Jagger’s pillow, loving him and disliking him all at once.

16

JAGGER

“Fuck, I gotta go. Stay if you want. There’s food. Or you can leave. it’s up to you. But don’t let my damn cat out.” Luke and my buddies deserve an explanation, but the woman in my bedroom needs one more urgently.

“I’m out of here. Think Lyric did what we all wanted to do. I hope you’re done with this dumbass bullshit. We need you and want you here. Clearly, she does, too. You want a rush of adrenaline, go fuck your woman. Check your phone when you come up for air.”

“Later.” I slap Luke on the back. None of us stay mad at each other for long, and it’s not like I have a right to be. I did something dangerous. This shit is on me. Luke does the same to my shoulder, and I wait until he walks out the door. I turn the lock, not wanting another fucking interruption. Lyric and I have a lot to talk about. My eyes look for Shadow. She’s curled up on her bed, ignorant tothe shit going on around her, too busy sleeping. I’m not sure which animal has it better, a dog or a cat. They both seem to live the good life and have not a single care in the world except to eat, sleep, and demand attention when they want it.

I kept my eye on Lyric’s back the entire time she was running away from me, the thought burning in my gut that she’s leaving me. The only bright side to this shit storm is her running into my bedroom instead of for her keys, hopping in her truck, and driving away. I would have really lost my mind, and the only thing I’d have left to do is chase after her.

I’m more than ready to talk this shit out with her, especially with the bomb she dropped before Luke did me more than dirty. He saw a vehicle in my driveway and knew I wasn’t alone. I’ll put this away for now, but there will come a time and a place when he’ll get what he deserves.

“Lyric.” I open the bedroom door. The room is pitch black. I never opened the curtains or made the bed this morning. A certain woman called me, and I had shit to do, breakfast to make, so cleaning in here didn’t take priority. She sits straight up and flings the covers off her face, then throws a pillow my way, aiming for my face. It pisses her off even more when I catch it. She has never been more beautiful even pissed off, tears streaming down her cheeks, eyes red, and hair tousled every which way.

---