Page 69 of At the Edge of Surrender

“What? I thought you told me that ham sandwich you just ate was your very favorite?” he teased, chewing around a grape he’d popped into his mouth.

I absolutelydidn’tnotice the way his full lips curled around it. Absolutely didn’t notice the flex of his jaw or the bob of his throat when he swallowed.

Maci giggled that wild, free sound, slurping around the juice of the watermelon. “Don’t you know if we got a ton of very favorites then we get to be happy all the time?”

“Is that how that works?” he asked, that gaze darting from Maci to me then back to her.

Every time he did it, my stupid heart would hitch.

“Yep. That’s how you get the happiness. That’s what my mommy told me.”

A beat of agonizing silence echoed through, though it was my mother who cleared her throat and murmured, “Like hamburgers are your very favorite, too?”

“That’s right, Grammy. And don’t forget the candy because candy is really my mostveriestfavorite.”

Kane chuckled. Low and deep. “Good to know, Angel Face.”

Maci’s eyes widened in surprise. “That’s what my auntie said…that I got an angel face. That probably means I get to see my mommy soon.”

I had to grab onto the edge of the table to keep from completely bowing forward. From crumbling.

The exhalation I let go was a heaving mess of torment.

My poor niece who was so confused.

I wanted to wrap her up and protect her. Shield her from the pain. Somehow make it okay when it felt like nothing would ever be okay again.

Kane hesitated, caution in his eyes as he let his attention flick between me and my mother, as if he were asking for permission to speak.

When he did, it was a careful murmur. “Maybe that just means she’s able to see you and is watching over you.”

“That’s a good idea,” Maci peeped with a little hoist of her shoulders, completely unaware of the turmoil the rest of us were suffering.

That’s the way we wanted it. The problem was that I worried about the day when the reality of this would come crashing down on her.

Mom grabbed a napkin. “Here, sweetheart. Let Grammy clean your face.”

“My angel face?” Maci sent her a gap-toothed smile as she turned toward her and tipped her head back.

Mom’s laugh was ragged. “Of course. Your adorable little angel face.” She dotted her nose with the napkin. “And then I think maybe you and I should go explore the park a little better. Check out that slide. What do you say?”

Mom gave me a telling look.

Talk to him. Get to know him. Give him a chance.

She still didn’t know I’druninto him before we’d gone to his house yesterday.

Had no idea what had happened behind closed doors in his office.

That I’d let him touch me when I hadn’t enjoyed a man touching me since I was seventeen. When I had all but given up on enjoying it ever again.

She didn’t know I’d gone to his club or the argument we’d had there. Didn’t know he’d texted me in the middle of the night and coerced me into this.

She assumed I’d set this whole thing up.

Maci scrambled off the bench before Mom had the chance to finish cleaning her face. “I love explorations!”

Mom climbed out and took her hand, and Maci chattered away to her as she led her across the grass toward the playground that was on the opposite side of the park.

---