Page 58 of At the Edge of Surrender

The horrible ways that I’d failed.

I needed to get over this shit. This insane idea that had crept over me throughout the day, growing stronger with each second thathad passed.

Like building blocks that threatened to become set in stone.

I’d be nothing but a monster dragging an innocent into this life.

Selfish to the extreme.

I would meet my daughter. Hear her voice and tuck it down where it belonged—with the rest of the ones that I’d lost.

I’d be sure she was set for life.

That she’d never want.

That she’d have everything she needed and more because I knew firsthand what it was like to go without. To scrounge and suffer and wonder where your next meal was coming from.

Then I’d keep an eye from a distance. Ensure she was always safe. That anyone who ever threatened to harm her would come to their end.

Because that’s what I was good for.

Theending.

And I’d be a fool trying to ignite something I had no business starting.

FIFTEEN

KANE

Ten Years Old

The voicethat Kane had come to hate boomed. A vicious snarl that made his stomach ache. “You think I don’t know what you’ve been doing? You think I don’t know you’ve been sneakin’ around?”

In his tiny bed, Kane curled in on himself, trying to hide in the shadows that crawled through his room.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Paul. When in the world would I be sneaking around? I’m here every single night.”

“Told you I didn’t want you working at that office. Know that asshole Gene is trying to get up on what’s mine.”

His mom huffed, but Kane could hear the fear in it. The way it trembled whenever Paul came home like this. Smelling like beer and really mad.

“Gene is harmless,” she told him.

“Harmless?” Paul’s voice dropped low, like a monster had taken him over.

Something so mean in it that Kane felt like it stoleall the air. His blood felt sticky in his veins, and his heart couldn’t remember how to beat right.

“Yes, harmless.” His mom’s words shook, and Kane could feel the tension shift.

“I’ll show you harmless, you stupid bitch.”

Glass suddenly shattered, and his mother yelped before there was a clatter of footsteps, then she cried out in pain.

Fear spun all around him, but he knew he had no choice. He was still supposed to be the man of the house, even though his mom told him she was the one who was supposed to take care of him.

But you took care of the ones you loved most, and he loved her more than anything else in the world.

His knees wobbled when he slipped out of bed.

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