Page 75 of Consequences

Am I? I didn’t realize I was giving him full control of my life when I agreed to be with him the way he needs.“I don’t know. It’s a little different in reality. This is a lot, Undertaker. Mostly because I didn’t anticipate this type of reaction.”

“What did you think was going to happen?” he shouts.

What had she thought? “I don’t know, but I clearly misunderstood how literal and all-encompassing the rules were. I’m sorry, but I’m not sure how I feel because you’re acting like you just caught me cheating or something. Which I’d never do.”

“To me, breaking the rules is the same as cheating. To me, it feels the same because it’s a betrayal. A broken promise,” Undertaker says. “I’ll have your stuff moved back to your father’s house by morning.”

“Look at me,” Jamie says.

When he finally does, she sees the pain. The unmistakable pain. “What?”

“You’re mad at me.”

“Yes.”

“This is a lot to take in. Because I’m not certain how I feel right now, in this moment, you’re going to ship me back to my dad’s house?”

“You knew what you were getting into, Jamie. I was very clear, and I don’t sugarcoat anything. I’ve always been transparent with what I need. You’re the one who pushed for this.”

She blinks and the ache starts in her chest, threatening to choke her. “Ipushed? You didn’t want this? Want me?”

“Of course, I wanted this! But I have given you ample opportunity to walk away knowing how I am. You knew the rules, and you still fucking broke them.”

Holding her hands up, she tries to take a calming breath to slow her racing heart. He’s breaking up with her because she stayed out a little later than she thought at happy hour and drank with two men in a group of ten?

“I didn’t fully understand what you meant, but I do now. I don’t really understand why, though. Why you don’t trust me.”

“Because it’s the way I am,” he says with a shrug and steps backwards. “I told you this, Jamie. Just like I told you this wasn’tas sexy as it sounds. I’m an obsessive and possessive asshole, and you said you were okay with everything.”

He’s right. He told her exactly what the expectations were, and she broke his rules. But is she okay with these rules? To give control of her life to someone else like she’s a child? “You’re right. You did.”

“You didn’t think I meant it.”

“No, I knew you did. I just thought you’d realize you could trust me enough that one happy hour to celebrate a tough job after many sleepless nights wouldn’t end with you breaking up with me.”

“I’m sorry, Jamie. I really hoped this would work.”

That’s it. Undertaker is leaving her. He’s really leaving her, and as he turns to walk towards his bike, she knows she has to stop him. “Wait!”

“For what?”

His back remains turned to her, but at least he stopped walking away. “Can’t we talk about this?”

“That’s what we just did,” he says, finally turning around. He motions between them to emphasize his point. “You don’t know if you’re okay with this anymore. I’m not capable of bending things, no matter how much I wish I was.”

His back faces her again as he walks towards his bike, and Jamie can’t breathe. The only person who has cared about her is walking away from her. Just like that, she’s that same little girl who watched her father drive away as she begged him to stay. One more person she thought could love her doesn’t want her.

A sob escapes, and she falls to the ground, her head in her hands. Once again, she’s alone. Abandoned. This is why she hates opening herself up to people. It always ends up with her hurt, but she knows the only thing she regrets about being with Undertaker is this moment.

He gave her a glimpse of what it feels like to be important to someone, even for just a brief moment in time. She’ll always cherish it.

“Jamie?” Undertaker’s voice calls, and the worry in his tone makes her cry harder.

She can’t look up. She can’t watch him leaving on his bike. “I’m fine. You can go,” she calls.

The motorcycle doesn’t start and fade away as he drives far, far from her. No, she hears heavy footsteps echo and get louder as they quickly approach her. “Jamie—”

“Please,” she begs, “don’t make me watch you leave. I can’t bear it.”

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