Page 56 of Love's Free Will

The Teegan family sat front and center. Royal, stone-faced, Queenie, draped in black lace, shoulders trembling and Princess, cheeks soaked in tears. They moved through the ceremony with strength I didn’t understand. When Queenie spoke, I cried. When Princess sang a hymn, I cried harder. When Royal stood to talk about his brother, I sobbed quietly into a tissue.

Afterward, I tried to approach him as they stood outside the church greeting guests. He turned, and for a moment, I saw a flicker of something. Something real like relief, but then it vanished as quickly as it came.

“Thought you left,” he said flatly.

I swallowed. “I didn’t want to… not until I knew you were okay.”

His mouth twisted. “I’m not. And I don’t need you to fix it.”

“Royal—”

“You should go back home, Averi,” he said, voice sharp. Cold. “This shit ain’t got nothin’ to do with you no more.”

The cut landed deep. But I didn’t let it show, I just nodded, blinked back the tears, and whispered, “I’m sorry for your loss.” He said nothing.

I approached Queen and gave her a hug. “You okay baby?” she asked.

“I should be asking you that.” I replied, and she gave me a gentle smile.

“I’ll be fine…” she glanced over at her son. “We all will. Just give him some time, okay?”

I nodded before giving Princess a quick hug, then I slipped my shades back on and went and got in the black car that had brought me here telling the driver to take me back to the hotel.

Not long after, I sat cross-legged on the edge of the bed in my hotel room, the curtains drawn closed, still dressed in funeral clothes. The Chanel sunglasses were off now, but the heaviness behind my eyes hadn’t left. I stared down at my phone like it might unlock some version of Royal that still cared about me. That still saw me.

I was hoping for some sign, any sign that he needed me after all, but nothing came. No texts, no calls, nothing but silence. The kind that gets loud when it’s someone you love. And I did fucking love him, in a short amount of time, I had fallen for Royal Teegan against my better judgement. I fought it as hard as I could, but honestly God put up a better fight against my free will.

My thumb hovered over Egypt’s contact for a second then Ari’s. But I didn’t call either of them. Instead, I scrolled until I got to Serenity, my thumb tapping the FaceTime button before I could talk myself out of it.

She picked up after two rings. Her hair was in a messy bun on top of her head, her skin glowing in the golden-hour light from what looked like the backyard. She was in a robe, holding a cupof tea, and I could hear Cree and Giovanni giggling somewhere in the distance.

She sat up straighter as soon as she saw my face. “Ave… oh my God. Are you okay?”

“No,” I whispered. “Not even a little.”

Her expression softened immediately. “You still in Atlanta?”

“Yeah. I’m at the W- Downtown. I went to the funeral.”

She sighed and nodded. “I figured you would. Did you… did you talk to him?”

I let out a bitter laugh. “Tried to. He has completely shut me out. Told me I should’ve gone home and said he doesn’t need me.”

She flinched. “Damn.”

“I called you because…” I paused, trying to find the words, “...you’ve been here. You were there for Creed when he lost his grandfather. I remember how bad that was for him. How he tried to act like he was okay, but you saw through all of it. You were his anchor.”

Serenity exhaled, nodding slowly. “Yeah. That was one of the hardest times in our relationship. He was hurting so bad, and he didn’t know how to be vulnerable with anybody but me.”

“I don’t know what to do Tootie,” I admitted, voice cracking. “I’ve tried giving him space, I’ve tried showing up, I’ve tried being patient. And I know he’s grieving, I know, but it’s like… all the progress we made just disappeared. It’s like I don’t even know him anymore.”

Serenity tilted her head. “Babe, listen to me. I’m going to try to say this in the nicest way possible. But this ain’t about you.”

I blinked. “What?”

“It’s not. This isn’t about your relationship, or the time you’ve invested, or how you feel right now. This is about Royal. He lost his brother. His best friend. And grief doesn’t care about timing or logic or feelings.” I looked away from the camera, ashamedthat I even needed to be reminded of that. “I know you want to fix it,” she continued. “I know you want to hold him and make it better. But some things can’t be fixed. You have to let him feel this. Let him process. Let him fall apart if that’s what he needs to do.”

I nodded slowly, swallowing the lump in my throat. “But?—"

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