I blink through the blur of smoke and tears. My vision swims before me, but I can make out Jace. His dark eyes are intense even through the haze. The edges of his face are smeared with soot and blood. I try to shake my head, but the world spins. My chest lurches again with another breath that won’t come, and panic claws up my throat.
My hands claw at my chest, desperate for air. My eyes water. “I can’t. I can’t.” The words come out in a barely audible rasp.
How can Jace be here? He was going to die like Summer did. Maybe not in the same way, but the outcome would be all the same. I can’t lose any of them, not like this. Not because they’re trying to help me in ways that aren’t worth even a fraction of their lives.
Jace doesn’t flinch. He crouches close and takes my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him. “Autumn, listen to me. You’re having a panic attack. You need to slow your breathing.”
Tears well in my eyes. How can I slow my breathing when I can’t breathe at all?
“Focus on me,” he says. “Nothing else exists right now. It’s you and me.”
I try to focus on his face, but everything is spinning. Are there two Jaces?
“Match my breathing,” he says, taking one of my hands and pressing it against his chest. I can feel his heart beating beneath my palm. “In through your nose, out through your mouth. Slow.”
The ground shakes and another burst of smoke funnels through the open doorway of the basement, but all I focus on is Jace. His beautiful brown eyes, and the desperation and terror they have for me.
He exaggerates his breathing, making it deep and deliberate. I struggle to follow, and my first attempt ends in a desperate gasp, but it’s something.
“Again,” he insists. “You can do this. In…and out.”
I lock into his eyes, using them as an anchor in the chaos. I force myself to inhale through my nose, feeling the smoke-tinged air burn my nostrils. Then I push it out through my mouth, the exhale ragged but complete.
“Good,” Jace encourages. “Again.”
Each breath is a battle, but gradually, the vise around my chest loosens. The tunnel vision recedes, and I become aware of the world around me again. The crackling fire below, the shouts and cries of the survivors, and the rotters’ moans.
“There you are,” Jace says softly when my breathing evens out. “Stay with me.”
I collapse against him with my head buried in his chest and my arms shaking.
“I’ve got you.” His arms wrap around me, shielding me from the smoke curling around us. “You’re okay. You’re here.”
My body trembles and my lungs are raw, but I nod against him. I’m vaguely aware of Caspian fighting off the rotters nearest to us, keeping us safe while I remember how to breathe again.
“Time to move,” Mars shouts from somewhere nearby. Survivors scramble all over the place, in all directions. Mars curses when one runs straight into a rotter, and the rottersinks its teeth into her cheek. “Not toward the rotters, shit. Get out of the building, everyone.”
“We’ve got to get somewhere safer,” Jace says. His arms are still around me, but I can feel the urgency in his body.
I nod again that I understand. I can move. There’s no other choice. I wipe the tears from my face and taste the smoke on my lips.
Jace helps me to my feet with his arm around my waist, and together we follow the others out of the burning building. My legs are shaky, and my chest still aches, but his grip remains strong enough to make up for it.
As we stumble toward the exit, I hear a familiar bark. Luna is already outside the house, barking and whining. My lips turn up in a smile.
43
MARS
The flames are eating the walls now.
The beams groan, threatening to collapse at any moment. The smoke is thick as hell, but I keep cutting a path through the chaos. One woman stumbles behind me, half-dragged, half-walking. I shove her forward toward the light spilling through the broken doorway.
“Keep moving,” I bark out to the stragglers. “We’re almost out of here.”
My eyes scan the room, taking stock of our people. Jace has got Autumn on his arm. Her body shakes, but she’s upright and moving. I don’t like how rattled she looks, but if Jace isn’t freaking out right now, then I won’t, either. I’ll wait until later to truly worry.
Luna barks from outside, and I see Autumn’s lips twitch into something almost like a smile at the sound. Caspian lags behind with one hand pressed to the wall like he needs it to keep himself standing. His pale skin looks ghostly white through the smoke.