Page 2 of Before I Deserved You
“I never asked you to stay away, so don’t put that shit on me. You could’ve come home at any time. You chose to stay away. Just like you chose to skip townwithout so much as a fucking goodbye, destroying six years of friendship in the process.”
“I know. And I’ll never forgive myself for that,” I croak, hoping the quiver in my voice is enough to convince him how much I regret my behavior. “If you just give me five minutes of your time, I think I owe you an explanation.” His expression doesn’t soften, and the tension around his eyes is visible as we silently stare each other down. I’m drowning in the blue depths of his gaze, gasping as I catch a mirroring flash of longing, and I can’t help but wonder if he remembers every detail of our shared past as vividly as I do.
From the moment I met him, back when we were nothing more than kids, I knew Jake Nelson would change the course of my life forever.
Two
Tessa
6th Grade
I’ve been floating around my new school like a ghost these past few hours, not interacting with anyone as I remembered the friends I was forced to leave behind.
My dad took over the town’s lone convenience store after his uncle passed away, leaving us with a struggling business, a two-story house, and an uncertain future. At least that’s how my mom put it, which is why I can’t understand why we had to move in the first place. Why did we have to leave Los Angeles—one of the greatest cities in the world—and everyone we love behind to live in a backwater town so small you wouldn’t be able to find it on a map if you tried?
It’s only been a handful of days since our arrival in Texas Hill Country, and I’m already desperate to get out of here. There’s literally nothing to do, the air smells dusty, and the people talk funny.
Iknow my parents struggled with the decision to uproot me, and according to my dad, taking over a country store in the middle of nowhere is a risk. But since he lost his job only days before the life-changing document arrived, my parents had no choice but to take it as a sign, and my fate was decided.
Angry and devastated, I didn’t speak to them for days following the announcement of our upcoming move, unable to imagine living in a place where the cows outnumber the people. The sheer thought of acres upon acres of farmland and the smell of manure made me shudder. I’d cried, begged, and screamed at the unfairness of it all. But in the end, none of it mattered. I’m only eleven—a dumb child. My opinion holds little weight. Although my parents have won the battle for now, I’d promised myself I’d never call Jenkins Creek home.
As soon as I graduate, I’ll move back to LA, and there’s absolutely nothing anyone can do to stop me.
This morning I woke with a newfound purpose. Finding solace in my stay here being only temporary, I decided to make the best of the situation for as long as I’m stuck here. I’d smile, pretend to be happy, and maybe even make a few friends along the way.
Unfortunately, the latter is proving harder than I’d originally thought. I’m halfway through my first day at JC Elementary, and no one has even attempted to talk to me. It’s lunchtime and watching everyone gather around the various picnic tables scattered around the yard, talking and laughing animatedly, has me feeling lonely and out of place. Finding a tree to lean on, far away from the boisterous crowd, I resign myself to a quiet meal.
“Are you alright?” The unexpected question jerks me from my daydream and firmly plants me back into the here and now.
Stunned, I gaze up at the boy looming over me and connect with a pair of striking eyes so blue I’m reminded of the ocean. He’s lanky but tall for his age, which I’m guessing to be around my own. His dark, wavy hair is almost black and long enough to curl around his ears. He has the cutest dimpled smile I’veever seen, and a curious gaze that almost makes me tear up after I’ve spent the entire morning going unnoticed.
“I’m alright,” I mumble, pulling pieces of crust off my sandwich to keep my hands busy.
“You’re the new girl. Teresa, right?” I glance up at him again, thrilled that this adorable boy knows my name.
“That’s right.”
“You mind if I call you Tessa? It suits you better, I think. Can I sit with you?” Without waiting for an answer to either question, he lowers himself to the ground and nudges me over just enough to rest his back on the thick tree trunk beside me. He’s so close our shoulders touch, and I can’t stop the unwanted blush spreading over my cheeks.
“I usually eat lunch with my friend Carter, but he’s home with the flu today, and you seem kind of sad. Thought I’d bring you something to cheer you up. Do you like flowers? I found it on the ground and was going to bring it home to my mom, but you look like you need it more.”
He’s holding out what I think might be a carnation. I recognize the type from my mom’s planter boxes back home.Not my home anymore, I remind myself as I study the pale yellow flower with a sad acceptance. It’s obvious it’s been out of water for quite some time. I can tell by the way the head is drooping, but its poor appearance doesn’t stop me from reaching for it. I carefully pluck the stem from between his fingers, handling it like a rare treasure as I give the wilted petals a sniff. Then, I place it into my lunchbox for safekeeping.
“Thank you,” I say, oddly touched by the caring gesture.
“You’re welcome. I’m Jake, by the way.”
Jake.What a lovely, strong name.
“You live in the old Brady house on Jackson Street, right? I saw you guys move in a few days ago when I rode by on my bike. I live just around the corner. So does Carter. We could ride to school together. We usually take our bikes, but we can walk if you don’t have one.”
“I have one,” I announce. He nods with satisfaction; his gaze focused on the juicy orange he’s in the process of peeling as the tip of his tongue pokes out from between his lips. It’s the cutest thing ever. What is he doing talking to me, of all people? Jake keeps up a steady stream of conversation, utterly unaware that I’m fast developing the mother of all crushes.
“We’ll just pick you up tomorrow morning then,” he states, leaving no room to argue before he hits me with another rapid-fire question. “So, why’d you move to Jenkins Creek?”
“My dad is the new owner of Brady’s Country store. We used to live in LA, but he said it would be good for us to leave the hustle and bustle of the city and breathe in some country air.”
“And what do you think?” he asks, meeting my gaze and holding it like he’s genuinely interested. Even though I already know the answer, I pretend to mull it over. “I think it’s a load of baloney. I love the city and the friends I have there, and, frankly, it doesn’t smell all that nice in the country.”
