Page 16 of Before I Deserved You
“What?”
“Nothing,” he says, still smiling. “It’s just cute that you think you have a choice in how this whole thing plays out, is all. The second you stuck your dick into her virginal pussy and rocked her world, you sealed your fate, my guy. There’s no point in second-guessing your choices now. Teresa Davidson is your girlfriend, whether you like it or not.”
“I mean, she did tell me there was no pressure.”
Carter barks out an obnoxious laugh and shoots me a do-you-even-hear-yourself-right-now look before saying, “There’s no way you can go back to just being friends without breaking that girl’s heart. She’s probably sitting at home doodling hearts in her diary and picking out names for your firstborn as we speak.”
I release an agonized groan and press the heels of my hands into my eye sockets.
“Christ, Carter. What the hell was I thinking? I don’t know the first thing about being in a relationship. I’m an inconsiderate prick most of the time. I speak without thinking, and I barely have time to look after myself, let alone a girl who deserves the world. It’s just a matter of time before she realizes what a momentous mistake it was to offer herself to me. But she can’t take it back now. That ship has sailed.”
Carter rolls his eyes at my theatrics, something he seems to be doing more and more lately.
“Give yourself a little credit, would you? It’s plain to see that you have it bad for Tessa, and it’s not like she doesn’t know what she’s getting herself into. She knows you better than anyone, and she still looks at you with stars in her eyes. You’re not as bad as you make yourself out to be. You’re loyal and caring, and you’ve always been her biggest supporter. You guys are perfect for each other. I have all the faith in the world that you two will make it work,” he says with a confidence I don’t share, but he’s right about one thing. If I don’t want to lose Tessa, then the only way to go is forward.
I slump back in my chair and try to find comfort in the fact that I’ve come to a decision. Then I let it all go. At this moment in time, there’s nothing I can do about any of it, so I might as well relax into the pleasant buzz I’ve got going.
“So, does she have a pair of beauties or what?” Carter asks out of the blue, and it takes me a minute to get his meaning. My buddy has a way of changing direction that can give you whiplash, but I appreciate his attempt at lightening the mood.
“Hands down, the perkiest, most beautiful pair of tits I’ve ever seen.” My best friend returns my dopey smile with one of his own and holds a hand up for a high-five.
“Up top, brother. Up top.”
Predictably, the first day back sucks. Big time. I know it the second I set foot in the school building and every head in the corridor turns my way. Being the recipient of so much unwanted attention makes my skin crawl, and I have to fight the urge to spin on my heel and walk right back out. But I know it would only delay the inevitable, so I draw my shoulders back and keep my eyes straight ahead as I make my way down the hall.
I hate being the talk of the town, and I hate the way everyone looks at me. Like, I’m one wrong word away from blowing a gasket. What grates the most, though, are the fake looks of sympathy from those I know for a fact don’t give two shits about me. Like that douchebag, Shane Cooper. I know he despises me. He’s had it out for me ever since Gillian dumped him, hoping to get together with me.
It all started when she hit on me at a party. I told her I don’t mess around with girls who were already spoken for. She took that to mean I’d take her up on her offer once she got rid of her boyfriend. I never made her any promises, nor have I given her any reason to believe I’m even remotely interested. But that didn’t sway her decision to end her relationship.
I did the right thing. I shut down her advances. Not many guys my age would’ve refused such a blatant offer. But Shane never forgave me and has treated me with nothing but contempt ever since. I suppose it’s always easier to blame others for your own shortcomings. I get it. Realizing your girl may never have been that into you in the first place sucks, but it’s not my fucking fault. Now he’s standing there, gawking at me with pity in his eyes, and I want to pop him one so badly my hands shake. A shimmer of blue behind him catches my eye and diverts my attention, and it’s then I see her. My girl. Tessa’s whole face lights up as she watches me close the distance, and knowing she has my back instantly calms me. I decide then and there to give these people something realto talk about. I quicken my steps and come to a stop in front of her, returning her smile when she gazes up at me with affection. Then I cup her face, lean in, and kiss her so thoroughly she’s gasping for breath when I finally let her come up for air. She has a dazed look in her eyes when she looks over her shoulder to meet the curious glances of our fellow students.
“Hey there, gorgeous,” I whisper, giving her another soft peck on the lips because I can. “Sorry, I haven’t called. It’s been crazy.”
Tessa waves off my apology.
“Don’t worry about it. Like I said, no stress. I have to say I didn’t expect you to make this public so quickly. Not that I mind the enthusiasm,” she adds as an afterthought.
I sling an arm around her shoulders, ignoring the hushed whispers, and steer her toward our classroom.
“Didn’t plan on it, but when I saw you standing there, looking so goddamn beautiful, I couldn’t help myself. Been thinking about you a lot since … you know, and I’ve missed you.”
“Me or my breasts?” she asks with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “Both,” I say, pressing a kiss to the top of her head and inhaling the scent of her favorite coconut shampoo. “But I miss those sexy little sounds you make even more.”
“Jake,” she gasps, eyes flying wide before she jabs me in the ribs hard enough to make me grunt.
“You started it.”
She’s so adorable when she blushes. Tessa isn’t a prude. She doesn’t mind talking about sex. As long as you keep your language clean and use words like vagina and penis and call it ‘making love.’ But you can’t say the word tits without her face heating up. That only makes me want to be more crude, just to get a rise out of her. She gave up on scolding me for my ‘foul’ language a long time ago but still wrinkles her cute button nose whenever I swear too much around her. She’s never quite lost that air of innocence, and I love that about her. I love that she can make me laugh with her dorky jokes or hold an entire conversation withoutonce dropping the f-bomb. But that doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy corrupting Little Miss Prim and Proper now that she’s officially mine.
Twelve
Tessa
I’ll never admit it if anyone asks, but I’ve worried myself sick over the past three days. I sat in my room and stared at my phone for seventy-two hours straight, willing it to ring and agonizing over all the possible reasons why he hadn’t called.
Our night together was incredibly special to me, and it killed me to think that Jake may not have felt the same. Sometime around the forty-eight-hour mark, the self-doubt began to creep in.
Was he already thinking up excuses to call it quits before we even had a chance to begin? Had I been awful in bed? Had my inexperience and lack of participation bored him? Or maybe he simply realized the fantasy of me was so much better than the real deal, and he was plagued with regret?
