Page 27 of Before I Deserved You
I feel the tips of my ears heat, and my first instinct is to go on the offensive. Then I remember telling my brother we don’t lash out at people who’re just trying to look out for us and force myself to settle down.
“Why do you ask? Did Carter mention anything?”
“He didn’t have to. This is a small town, son. People talk. Your family has suffered a tremendous loss. That’s not something you easily move past. I just want to make sure you kids are doing alright, and I want you to know that Mrs. Evans and I are always here for you if you need anything. Whether you’re in trouble or you simply need someone to talk to. You’re always welcome here, andyou guys will always have a safe place to stay if you need it. We’re only one phone call away.”
“I appreciate that. More than you know, but we’re not orphans. We still have our dad.”
Mr. Evans gives me a look that suggests we both know my father is of little use to us right now. I force myself to hold his probing gaze for as long as possible before I blow out a resigned sigh.
“Thank you. It truly means a lot, and I promise I’ll call if I ever feel like I can’t handle things on my own.”
“There. That wasn’t so bad, was it?” He grins, giving me a tap on the back. “You’re like a second son to us, Jake. There’s not much we wouldn’t do for you and your siblings. I hope you know that.”
“I do. I appreciate everything you guys have done for us. It hasn’t gone unnoticed, but I promise I have things under control,” I add when his doubtful expression doesn’t change.
“Alright.” He claps his hands together when he realizes he’s pushed me as far as I’d let him. “Let’s go back inside and do some damage to those desserts, shall we? Carol made your favorite. Chocolate peanut butter fudge.”
“Shit yeah,” I blurt before I can catch myself. “I mean, uh, awesome sauce.”
“Awesome sauce,” the older man parrots, chuckling as he ruffles my hair and shoves me toward the front door. The simple fatherly gesture makes me feel envious of my best friend. Carter has no idea how damn lucky he is to have such an amazing dad. Someone who’s not afraid to shower him with affection. A steadfast role model he can depend on. I haven’t seen my father in three days. He could be lying in a ditch somewhere, sleeping off his latest bender, and maybe that’s a blessing in disguise. Because these days, the less I see of my old man, the better.
Eighteen
Jake
Today is a good day,I think to myself as we stroll down the main drag on our way to Carla’s Café, paying little attention to the various storefronts lining either side of the street. The town center is buzzing with activity as last-minute shoppers are dashing back and forth between buildings on their hunt for the perfect Christmas gift.
Tessa and Megan are walking ahead of us, hips swaying from side to side. Carter and I exchange an appreciative look as we mentally high-five each other for scoring the two hottest girls in town. The sun hangs low in the sky as Tessa smiles over her shoulder at me, long hair billowing in the wintry breeze. At that moment, I feel happier than I have in a very long time.
I’ve just turned eighteen, and most days, I feel like I carry the world's weight on my shoulders. Life hasn’t even truly begun, and I’m already exhausted. Living with an abusive alcoholic and keeping your younger siblings out of the line of fire while simultaneously hiding the truth from your friends will do that to you.
My dad’s been working me harder than a damn mule, and I barely even have a social life. My amazing girlfriend has been nothing short of supportive andunderstanding throughout our relationship, and I most definitely haven’t been easy to be around lately. But whenever things get too much, and I feel myself slipping into that dark pit of despair, she’s there, ready to pull me back from the brink. She’s become my rock, and I have no idea what I’d do without her.
“Eyes up here, Nelson,” she orders, smirking at me and looking utterly adorable with her ruddy cheeks. “I asked you a question.” Reluctantly, I drag my gaze upwards and away from her luscious ass to land on a pair of thoroughly amused eyes.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t quite catch that.”
Tessa giggles, and I throw her a wink that adds a little more color to her already rosy skin.
“Ugh, you two are actually nauseating.”
Tessa ignores Carter’s grumbling. “I asked what the plan is for tonight?”
“Not sure.” I shrug. “Maybe we could go catch a movie. There’s this new action flick I’ve been meaning to check out.” Options are limited in a town this size, and since the river bashes only happen sporadically now that the weather isn’t cooperating, there’s really not much to do for kids our age. I’m just glad they’re still happening at all, considering only a handful of organizers remain now that most of the former seniors have gone off to college. Fortunately for us, Chase and Ted both decided against school, opting to work for Chase’s father instead—which means they’re free to keep the tradition going. Unfortunately for me, Jessica Cartwright also never left town, having chosen to attend a community college close by to help care for the ailing grandmother who raised her. She’s still doing her best to get under Tessa’s skin at every opportunity and remains to be the only thing we frequently argue about.
“Fuck,” Carter exclaims, stopping to dig through the pockets of his jeans. “I think I forgot my wallet.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I say, slapping him on the back. “I don’t mind being your sugar daddy for the day. Just remember how good I was to you once you become a big-shot lawyer in New York, Chicago, or wherever the fuck peoplewith fancy educations go to practice law. I also expect you to represent my ass, pro bono, if I ever find myself in trouble.”
“That day might come sooner rather than later. Sheriff Payton really seems to have a hard-on for you,” Carter says, and I cringe at the mention of Jenkins Creek’s new acting sheriff.
“Maybe calling him a little bitch on his first day and then proceeding to moon him in front of his predecessor wasn’t your finest moment,” Megan needlessly points out, and Carter laughs so hard his eyes water.
“Fuck me, that was priceless. The vein in his forehead was throbbing so hard, I thought his head was going to explode.”
At the time, I’d found the incident equally amusing. In fact, I remember laughing so hard I couldn’t catch my breath on the way home. Then Old McCarthy and Sheriff Payton dragged my drunken ass out of the back of their cruiser and handed me over to my father with strict instructions to keep a shorter leash on me. I remember barking like a dog and laughing some more. Then my dad shut the door, and I stopped laughing pretty quickly.
“That was months ago, and he’s still staring daggers at me. I mean, come on. You can’t make one mistake?” I whine, holding up a single digit. Tessa stops to wrap her slender arms around my neck, staring up at me with the cutest little pout.
