Page 19 of Left-Hand Larceny
My eyes burn. My nose tingles. I think I need to sneeze or scream. What the hell is wrong with people? When did money and profit become more important than human beings?
Strong fingers squeeze mine this time. Rags is smiling at me, and I sniff hard, willing my emotions to take a backseat.
“I-it’s o-okay.”
It’s not. But I give him a watery smile, anyway. This is not my pity party. I’ve been told I make everything about myself. Especially when my big feelings take over. That’s the last thing Ragnar needs right now. I turn my attention back to the rest of his message, flipping my hand to intertwine our fingers and give one brief squeeze.I hope he reads my silent apology.
Ólaffson:
It’s not ideal, but I saw someone online suggest studying and imitating people who are comfortable with social interactions. While I can people-watch on my own, it would be easier with a designated someone. That way, I can just ask what is expected of me, or they can guide me through it. Less chance to fail.
“Like a coach,” I say aloud. Ragnar snorts and. I look back down at his novel of a message.
Ólaffson:
Like a social coach.
Oops. I jumped the gun. Again.
“Great minds,” I say with a chuckle, relieved when he smiles, too. “I want to help, I do…”
But here’s the delicate part. I think this man has a minuscule crush on me. I don’t want to sound conceited, but I notice patterns. I read people’s emotions. Body language. And Ragnarisn’t subtle. His eyes follow me when we’re in the same space. He swallows more, his breathing picks up. Red stains the pale skin of his cheeks and throat. The most damning evidence? His pupils blow wide, eclipsing the piercing blue of his irises. Seriously, the most blue. I swear they match the team jerseys.
“I don’t want to cross any boundaries here.”
I don’t want to hurt him. Not this gentle sweetheart of a man. I don’t want to ever accidentally lead him on, and I also don’t want to lose my job. Tristan and Vic are happy and accepted now, but I remember the shockwave their marriage sent through the team. We were all convinced she was going to need to dust off her resume and find a new employer.
The organization takes their non-fraternization clauses seriously.My parents’ friendship with Bill might be the reason Greg hired me, but it won’t save me if the boss doesn’t want his underlings dating his players. Fuck, we wouldn’t even have to be dating. Tristan got a stern warning even before the fateful trip to Vegas.
Ragnar studies my face. He opens his mouth once, twice, then shakes his head as he reaches for his phone.
Mine’s already in my hand when the message comes through, but still the vibration surprises me.
Ólaffson:
I would never ask you to put yourself or your job in harm’s way. There’s nothing inappropriate about you answering questions for me. If anyone asks, it’s a crash course in extrovert culture.
Ragnar Ólaffson is absolutely adorable.
Ólaffson:
Please, Sadie.
My sister wants a pony.
I can’t stop the snort of laughter as I read his last message. Of course, this giant teddy bear of a man is thinking of his family first. I know he subsidizes them, too. An NHL salary is arguably more than I make. More than most people could ever hope to bring home, but I doubt it stretches to cover ponies when he’s already keeping himself and his grandma and his sister afloat.
When I wanted a pony as a child, my parents signed me up for riding lessons. But that’s only possible with money. And yeah, okay, Ragnar’s family is most likely doing fine, but a sudden change in sponsorship would cause anyone distress.
Especially when it seems intrinsically tied to his recovery.Every medical professional worth their weight in rock salt knows that the mental game is the biggest hurdle in healing.
Ólaffson:
I don’t want to pressure you. Not ever. Take some time to think about it. If you say no, I understand. I won’t ask again.
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” My eyes skate away from his face, unable to risk seeing disappointment reflected back at me.
Would he ask someone else? I don’t like that idea, even if I’m not sure why.
