Page 65 of Nanny and the Beast

I see flashes of her as I drive. I see the indent on her bottom lip. The way her dark eyes seem to access a place deep inside me. The way I don't mind touching her soft skin.

After the things I went through in Afghanistan, I never thought I would be able to touch another person without having bile rise up my throat.

But I have no problem touching Emma.

If anything, it feels good.

So. Fucking. Good.

I press down on the accelerator, going well above the speed limit.

I used to drive fast just to feel something. But now, I'm driving because I'm feeling too much.

By the time I reach the gates of Elysium, there's excitement in my veins.

As I enter the establishment, itfeels like I'm walking into a dream. Everything is familiar, but it also feels distorted somehow.

It's not the outside world that has changed. It's me.

I'm the one who's different.

I must be going crazy because I swear I can smell her here. The scent of freshly baked bread and sweet frosting lingers in the air, whispering sweet nothings to me.

I'm presented with trays of refreshments, ranging from smoked salmon canapés to cocaine. That's not what I'm here for, though.

I find tonight's hostess.

"Good evening, Mr. Sinclair. What can I help you with tonight?" she asks.

I contemplate for a second whether I really want this. This is a request I've never made before.

"I'd like a girl," I say.

If she's surprised, she doesn't show it. "Of course. Do you have any preferences?"

Her.

I want the one woman I have no business lusting after.

"Innocent brown eyes. Dark hair with soft curls. Five foot six."Smells like a fucking bakery. Drives me insane with just one look. Tries to talk back every chance she gets.

"We'll do our best to find the right girl for you," she says. "Would you prefer a private booth?"

"Send her to my room," I say.

"Perfect." She scrolls through her iPad. "She'll be ready for you in ten minutes."

All of the men who have a membership at Elysium are provided with their own privateaccommodations. I've spent nights at Elysium before afterhaving too much to drink, but it'll be the first time I invite a girl to my room.

I take the staircase to the first floor.

Once I'm inside my room, I pour myself a drink.

And I wait.

16

EMMA

---