Page 194 of Nanny and the Beast

We might as well be strangers.

“I’m not lying, Grandma,” I say. “There’s simply nothing to talk about.”

“Tell me what’s on your mind, Emma,” she says. “I’m worried about you.”

I stand and walk to the window.

Even if I wanted to discuss it, I wouldn’t know where to begin. I don’t know how to tell my grandmother I took up ajob at the gentlemen’s club. I don’t know how to tell her that I crossed all professional boundaries with my billionaire boss. I don’t know how to tell her that we broke each other’s hearts.

I feel like I’ve been robbed of a future that should have been mine.

It was promised to me, but everything fell apart. And this time, I really wanted to hold on to this love.

“I was talking to Helena earlier,” she says. “She told me what happened.”

“How much did she tell you?” I ask.

“You love that man, don’t you?” she asks.

“It doesn’t matter,” I say. “He doesn’t feel the same way about me.”

“And what makes you think that?”

“Because I know, Grandma,” I say. “I know just how much I mean to him.”

I shared my body with Klaus. I shared my deepest secrets and gave my heart to him. I trusted him with it, but he only ever wanted me for sexual pleasure. That was the only thing about me that ever appealed to him.

“I don’t know what happened between you two, but that man still cares about you,” she says.

My heart starts thumping against my ribcage.

I want it all to be a lie. I want to unhear the words I heard that night. I want to go back to the way things used to be.

But that will never happen.

“A man may not always show love through words, but you’ll always be able to tell by his actions,” she says. “And every single thing he’s done points to the obvious.”

“Please don’t fill my head with nonsense,” I say, squeezing my eyes shut.

I can’t go back to living in a fantasy world. He’s not the charming hero, and I’m not the princess worth fighting for.

He made thatabundantlyclear.

“Think about it, Emma,” my grandmother continues. “That man has no reason to pay off our debts or go out of his way to provide treatment for me. He has no reason to invite me to his home just so I can be close to you. He wouldn’t be doing any of it if he didn’t care about you.”

“If you heard the things he said about me behind my back, you wouldn’t think he’s such a great man.”

She must hear the way my voice breaks because she falls silent. I brace myself for the inevitable questions—but they never come.

“I don’t know what to do,” I say. “I don’t know if I should stay. I love Sinclair mansion and the kids, but the air feels stifling. I feel like I’m slowly suffocating.”

“What’s stopping you from leaving?” she asks.

I take a deep breath. I’ve been asking myself that question every day lately.

“Do you still hope that things can go back to the way they used to be?” she asks.

Tears rush to my eyes.

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