Page 96 of Nanny and the Beast

I have systems in place.When I feel like my mind is turning against me, I get back into my body.

I lift weights and do high-intensity training until my frozen heart starts beating again.When all of my muscles are shaking from exertion, I dip into the cold plunge pool.

Every cell inside my body is electrified now. But the second I close my eyes, she’s back.

I can see her as if she’s really here.

Only one thing that can put me out of my misery now.

I call Alaric.

“I need a case,” I say as soon as he picks up.

“Good morning to you too, sunshine,” Alaric says. “What’s going on?”

“I just told you what’s going on,” I say. “Give me a case. I need something to do.”

“Are you having nightmares again?” Alaric asks. “Because I was talking to an old buddy of mine, and he said that he found the answer to every problem in the universe.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose. It’s always a whole song and dance with Alaric.

He always wants totalk.

“You’ll never guess what it is,” he says. “But go on, guess.”

I sigh.

“I don’t know, is it getting a therapy dog?” I ask.

“No, but can you imagine howcutethat would be? I know what I’m getting you for Christmas this year.”

“Please don’t get me a dog, Alaric.”

“You don’t know what you want,” he says. “But don’t fret because that’s what friends are for.”

I rest my head against the cool marble headrest. As vexing as he can be, talking to Alaric is the only thing that helps sometimes.

“Anyway, I was going to tell you about mushrooms,” he says.

“Mushrooms?”

“Dan said that microdosing?—”

“Who’s Dan?”

“Dan is the friend I was telling you about. Pay attention, man.”

“Okay, what did Dan say?”

“He said that microdosing on mushrooms solved all of his problems,” Alaric says.

“You know how I feel about that kind of hippie bullshit, Alaric,” I reply.

“Fine. I was just trying to help.”

“Youcanhelp,” I say. “Give me a task.”

“I don’t like how much you enjoy this,” he says. “Torturing other people shouldn’t be a source of joy for you.”

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