Page 124 of Nanny and the Beast

“Come in,” I say.

Helena steps inside. I don’t even bother moving away from the window where I’m watching the nanny.

“Aren’t you going to come down for dinner?” Helena asks.

“I’m not hungry,” I say.

“You barely ate anything all day,” she says. “What’s going on, Klaus?”

I don’t know how to explain it.

Since the moment I decided to keep my distance from Emma, life feels like it’s been leached of all color. I’m existing inside a thundercloud. Everything is gray and gloomy.

Nothing feels worthwhile anymore.

I don’t want to eat. I don’t want to work. I don’t want to do anything.

“Do you feel ill?” Helena asks. “Maybe you should have a doctor look at the wounds.”

“It’s not that,” I say. “And besides, I applied Vera’s tincture.”

“Those herbal remedies can only do so much,” she says. “I know they have mild antibacterial properties, but if the cut is too deep, it can get infected, Klaus.”

She knows why I can’t see a doctor.Having a physical examination done means being touched by another person. And I can’t go through that without losing it.

That’s why I got in touch with Vera Reznikova in the first place. Because of the nature of my work, I had to be prepared to treat my own ailments.

“It’s just a few scratches,” I say.

“I saw you when you walked through that door,” she says. “Scratches don’t bleed like that.”

“I have it under control, Helena.”

“Just promise me you’ll have it looked at if you see any signs of infection.”

I take a deep breath and remind myself that she’s just concerned about me.

“I promise,” I say.

“Good.” She glances out of the window. “The kids are having the time of their lives.”

I follow her gaze to the scene below.

Emma really outdid herself with the party.

So far, there was a hay ride, a treasure hunt, and a break at a hot cocoa station. Right now, they’re sitting around a bonfireeating s’mores while Emma reads a spooky story. They’re living their best life.

“I can’t believe she pulled it all off in a single day,” Helena says. “The girl really is something.”

She really is, I think.

I can’t take my eyes off her. Even though I can’t hear what she’s saying, I’m spellbound by her expressive eyes and theatrical gestures.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on between the two of you?” she asks.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I know she spent the night in your room.”

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