Page 90 of Choices

“I know.” He clenches his teeth.

“Wait—” My brain freezes, and ice floods my limbs. “What are you saying? Did you take her to bed to keep her quiet?”No way. She wouldn’t do that…

He flinches like I struck him, his head shaking vehemently. “What? No.”

“Then what are you saying?” I’m too high on Diamond’s supply to make sense of everything.

“That it was a shit show and needed to be kept quiet. We had to retrace your steps that night and erase as much as we could and keep a truth circle to protect the secret.”

My body tenses. “No one knew I was with Nicolas that night. I never use my name at card games, and we came straight here.” My thoughts flicker through my mind, trying to remember that night. “Wait—I got my tattoo before coming back here.”

He stares at me, nodding and speaking without words.

Wynona.

“Her boyfriend killed her then himself,” I state, swallowing the lump growing in the back of my throat like a fungus-filled rock. I was devasted when I read about her murder in the paper.

Cutter’s eyes remain on mine, telling me everything his words won’t.

No.“You didn’t. That wasn’t a cover-up,” I choke out.

“It was her goldfish I brought you.”

No. No. Fucking shut up.

I push the blanket from my legs and my feet thud to the floor as acid races up my throat. Running to the bathroom, I reach the toilet just in time to spill my guts. Cramps clench my stomach muscles and squeeze across my ribs, sending spasms into my back.

Wynona…oh my god, I’m so sorry.

“Kit.” Cutter’s voice fills my head like a drill powering through my skull.

“Why are you telling me this?” I plead.

“Because you need to know.”Because I wanted the truth, and here it is: black and ugly.

“It hurts,” I sob. Emotional and physical pain pound through every fiber of my being, bruising my soul.

Hands reach beneath my armpits and lift me. “Let me help you back to bed.”

I allow him to guide me, afraid I’ll drop like a stone if he lets go of me. “Who else?”

“What?”

“Who else did you kill because of me?”

“No one.”

“She didn’t deserve that,” I cry.

“I know. It was quick.”

“Oh god.” Everyone believes her boyfriend killed her and himself.It was me. Their death is all on me.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats. It’s like he’s possessed. Who is this version of the man I thought I knew?

Pushing against his chest, I manage to make the last few steps on my own. “I don’t want to know anymore. Not right now.” Exhaustion washes over me. I need to sleep. Forget. Pretend he didn’t tell me about Wynona. “Leave,” I demand.

He stands before me, his hands raised in surrender, a shell of the man I used to know. My heart shatters. We’re both so irreparably broken, it’s unlikely we could ever be put back together again. “I want to stay here for a little while, just sleep next to you.”

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