Page 61 of Level Me Up

I'm still looking at her in the mirror when I turn to her. "What?"

"I think…I think you need to take a long hard look at your relationship with Dex. Look at the person you became when you were with him and now, the person you have become now that he isn't in your life." She's lost her usualI know what's best for youtone and almost seems nervous.

"Why are you saying this? Now? And I'm really not thrilled you're telling me that I became a different person when I had a boyfriend, and now I'm not as cool without him," I snap back at her.

A flash of anger crosses her eyes when she says, "No, what I'm saying is that you were the happiest I've ever seen you when you were with Dex. And now, now you are like this shadow of the person you used to be before him."

I hate that what she is saying is ringing true in my head, but I shake it off. "We are not having this conversation in a disgusting bar restroom, and I'm definitely not having it while I'm still drunk." I walk past her and exit the restroom. She sighs from behind me but follows. I head straight for the table where Ruby and Bernie still sit.

"Well girls, I hate to be a party-pooper, but I need to call it a night." I gather my purse and head for the door. I suck in a deep breath of fresh air as soon as I step foot outside.

The three of them are behind me, and Ruby and Gia are already hailing cabs. Bernie and Ruby decide to share one since they are going in the opposite direction, and Gia and I get the other one. Gia surprises me by being quiet the whole way home.

She still doesn’t say much as we enter our apartment, and I head to my room. I mutter a good night, and I don’t hear her reply.

The next morning, I have a killer hangover. And I was a bitch to Gia last night, and she didn’t deserve it.

I take a long shower, and once I'm dressed I head out to the living room preparing to apologize. She startles me as I come out of my room because she is standing in the doorway of her room waiting for me. Before I can say anything she says, "I'm sorry I was a bitch last night. It's just that I need you to be happy, and Dex makes you happy. I could tell from last night that he still has feelings for you. I just need you to realize you still have feelings for him too."

Stunned by her apology and confession, I just stare at her. My head is trying to process everything that just came from her mouth, but I've got a pounding headache. I shake my head, "Ok, I have to get some Advil."

She nods and follows me to the kitchen. As I bang around trying to gather the medicine, a cup and then water, she heaves herself up onto the counter and waits for me to reply.

I turn to her, leaning on the counter on the opposite side and sigh. "One, I was the bitch who bit your head off. Two, you're right, I'm not happy. And three, you think he still has feelings for me? I don’t know why he would." The thought that he might still have feelings for me makes the nerves in my belly tingle, but I need to reel it in because it doesn't matter.

"I deserved your bite, and he most definitely still wants you. The guys came over to the table after you left, and when he realized you weren't there, he started to look a bit uneasy. We told him you excused yourself to the bar, and I swear if he didn't pinpoint your whereabouts within seconds. Then when it became obvious that that guy was chatting with you, he stopped paying attention to us altogether and just looked pissed. I don't know what he saw, but he left the table, and before we knew it, he was stepping in at the bar. What happened?"

"Bar Guy just wanted to buy me a drink, but I told him no. He didn't take the hint at first, but did after Dex showed up." Huh. He was being all protective and concerned, but that didn't mean he still had feelings for me. Even so, it doesn’t matter…does it?

"Ah. He just looked frustrated and a little sad when he came back to the table and said he was leaving. Simon and Link joined him." Now she looks sad.

"I don't even know why it matters if he still has feelings for me. I broke up with him. I can't just change my mind." Or can I?

"It does matter, Morgan, don't you see? Damn it. I swear, you read enough romance novels, you'd think you'd realize when you were being stupid." She says this with a laugh. "You fell in love with him, and that freaked you out because it happened faster than you expected. And I think he fell in love with you just as quickly. Heck, he introduced you to his parents!”

I snort, "Yeah, then a week later I break up with him. I bet his mom hates me. Even if we get back together, his mom probably won't approve." Just the thought of her hating me shoots shivers down my back.

"You were so happy with Dex. I want you to be happy," she says, almost pleadingly.

I look down at the cup still in my hands, "Gia, I don't know what I would do without you, but I promise, I will be happy again. It shouldn't take another person to make me happy, I have to be happy on my own. I have to be happy with me." I'm not sure where that came from because I didn't realize that's how I felt. I look back up at her, and her eyes are watery, but a small smile is planted on her face.

"Ok," she says as she slides off the counter and crosses the small kitchen and hugs me tight. "As long as you let me know what I can do to help."

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