Page 61 of One More Round

“I’m so sorry. But I have to,” she says with confidence, but the tremble in her chin and the tears filling her eyes tell me that it’s only a mask.

I clear my throat, because seeing her like this is like a punch in the gut. “Why?”

“Because it’s my dream.” She grabs my hand as she turns more toward me and continues, “I’ve wanted to work for TVEdge since college. Every job I’ve taken was to build my resume for them. And about six months ago a friend contacted me and told me that they were going to start putting feelers out for some new writers. I sent her my portfolio and she got me in touch with the editor in chief. They put me on a ridiculously long trial period. But they called me about five weeks ago and interviewed me. They told me they were going through some management changes, so they didn’t know if the job would still be on the table. But then they just emailed me a couple of days ago and told me the job was mine.” She takes a shaky breath.

“You found out a couple of days ago? And you are just now telling me?” I ask.

“You’ve kinda had some stuff going on, Simon,” she replies. Which is true.

“Fair enough,” I grumble. “But let me get this straight, you interviewed for this job after we started hanging out …” I trail off, realizing that she could have told me at any point. But she didn’t.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me, Gia?” I drop her hand and stand up to face her.

“I didn’t think it was going to happen. And at the time, we weren’t dating, just getting on even ground. Then everything with Todd blew up in my face. It didn’t come up,” she says, her voice starting to rise.

“It didn’t come up?” I roar. “How the fuck does you moving to the opposite side of the country not come up?” I’m mad now. Full-blown mad so I continue, “You let this thing,” I motion between us, “go on and get further than it ever has before, all while lying to me. Since when did we start lying to each other?” I start to pace and then stop again, looking into her eyes before continuing.

“Oh, well maybe it was around the time you started lying to everyone else. But God damn, Gia, you lied to me. You kept this from me. You let me fall in love with you, again. And now you are leaving. Again,” I bellow, but my anger starts to slip away when I look at her. When I see that she’s a mess.

Tears are pouring down her beautiful face. There are dark circles under her eyes, like maybe she hasn’t slept in days. I shouldn’t have missed that when I came in earlier. I step over and kneel in front of her to grab her shaking hands. She is taking short, shallow breaths, and I can see the anxiety building up in her eyes. Little gasps escape her mouth.

I mutter a curse under my breath and I pull her down to the floor with me.

“Gia, baby, calm down.” I wrap my arms around her to pull her into me. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled.”

“No … no, I deserve it,” she sobs but pushes away from me. “I didn’t mean to not tell you. I fell in love with you again too—well, I never stopped being in love with you in the first place. Every time I started to convince myself I needed to mention it to you, the thought of losing you was enough to change my mind,” she says, calming herself and looking at me straight on. “I wanted as much time with you as possible.”

With a sigh, I pull her back into me and she lets me this time. We sit there on the floor for a while, me hugging her in my arms as her crying gradually slows down.

Finally, she lifts her head to me and asks, “What are we going to do?”

“I don’t know. But we don’t have to figure it out tonight. We have a few weeks, right?” I help her up, pull down the covers on her bed and tell her to get in. As she does, I take off my jeans and pull my shirt up and over my head. I crawl in behind her and flip off the bedside light. I’m not tired in the slightest. But right now, I need the quiet darkness with her all around me.

She snuggles into me as my arm goes around her. After a couple of minutes of silence, she kisses my chest. She does it again, in the space above my heart. Like she is trying to mend the heart that sat whole beneath my skin only moments ago.

Knowing that it’s too late for that, I pull her up and kiss her.

Carefully, I push her shorts down her legs then follow by removing her tank. My clothes slowly follow suit.

She whispers her apologies through kisses and more tears. We don’t stop to wipe them away. We take our time with our kisses, our caresses, feeling everything as if our battered hearts are only a live wire to our souls. We end up making love for the first time. When we find our release, together, it rocks me to my core.

It’s in the moments after Gia has fallen asleep in my arms that I realize it. The most powerful and meaningful moment of our relationship was also our goodbye.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Gia

I start to wake before my eyes are able to open. I’m warm and in Simon’s arms. I have no idea what time it is, but I don’t care. I don’t want to fully wake up yet, because reality isn’t really where I want to be. Last night, after my confession, after the yelling and tears, we made love. Which was the first time, since all the times before were just sex. Lustful, passionate sex. It was clear that last night was different; it was intoxicating and melancholic.

While it felt like it should be the start of something amazing and new, it teetered on the edge of something sad and ending. I’m not sure what will happen with our relationship. I’m not sure what can happen, with me in LA and him here in Chicago. I do know that I will do everything in my power to make it work. I love Simon. I’ve loved him for a very long time. In fact, the love I have for him now is so much more than it once was. But I can’t turn my back on my dream. I would never ask Simon to do that, as I know he won’t ask me to do the same.

My gut tells me this is the end. So, I’m going to prepare for the worst but hope for the best and enjoy the warm comfort of being wrapped up in his arms right now.

My eyes flutter open when he shifts under me. I know he is awake. I turn my head and prop it up on my hand across his chest.

“Hey,” I say softly.

A small, barely-there smile crosses his face.

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