Page 32 of One More Round

Simon’s nostrils flare again, his eyes searching mine.

“No, it wasn’t my plan to make out, but it was dark, and we were sitting so close and I just … I just couldn’t help it. I wanted you, I wanted to touch you and.” He makes a sweeping gesture toward me. “You wanted it too, so why are you flipping out right now?”

Damn, he’s right. I did want it. So bad. With every brush of our legs and bump of our shoulders, I wanted him to touch me that much more. The desire just kept building.

“So what! You have a girlfriend!” I nearly shriek.

He rolls his eyes. “What kind of guy do you think I am, Gia? Do you really think I’d cheat on my girlfriend?”

“Honestly, no. I have no idea what type of guy you are because I don’t know you anymore.”

The words fly out of my mouth and at that instant his eyes turn cold. That hard, icy glare that I’m all too familiar with bores into me. He huffs and just shakes his head.

“You're right, you don’t know me. And whose fault is that? Clearly, it’s not mine since I’m not the one who fucking left without so much as a goodbye and blocked all your calls. No, that was all you, G. All. Fucking. You,” he seethes with anger.

I gulp down the sour acid now at the back of my throat.

“So, we are doing this? Now? Right here on the sidewalk outside the movie theater?”

“I guess so,” he growls.

Letting out a long, low sigh, my arms hang to my side. I look up at his anger-filled face and start speaking.

“It hurt too much. It physically hurt when I thought about having to say goodbye to you.” I glance away at the busy street. “The night before we left, I had an anxiety attack. I couldn’t breathe—couldn’t stop crying. My mom was ready to call 911 because she didn’t know what was wrong. She offered to call you and that just made it worse. She figured it out soon enough.” I sneak a glance back at Simon and the anger on his face has lessened a bit. I take another deep breath, because this next part will just make him mad again.

“We decided that I should leave without seeing you. To just make a clean break. Don’t get me wrong, that suggestion alone ended up triggering about an hour’s worth of tears, but the alternative was another anxiety attack. I didn’t sleep that night. I stared at my phone. I started texting you so many times. I almost called you several more times than that. But in the end, I opted for the clean break. It truly felt like the best option.”

“What about me? What was the best option for me? Did you even think about that?” he asks, his tone hushed and deep.

“I did. And like I said, I really did think it was the best option. I knew you’d be mad at me. But I decided that I’d rather you hate me than try to make something work that had no chance of surviving the distance.”

“You didn’t even give it a chance! You had no faith in our relationship. You made the wrong decision,” he spits hotly.

I nod. The tears that I’ve been fighting finally start to fall.

“I know I did,” I whisper. “I’m so, so sorry.”

I frantically try to wipe the tears away when I’m suddenly pulled in tight against him. He swears into my hair and holds me tighter. My arms go around his waist and the tears come in earnest now. I wasn’t expecting this kind of reaction, just the opposite.

He makes shushing sounds into my hair and rubs my back.

“Stop crying, G. It’s OK.”

Into his shirt I ask, “How is this OK? You hate me, and I deserve it. But I miss you so fucking much.”

“I don’t hate you. I might have thought I did, but I really never did. And I’ve missed you so fucking much too.”

A sense of calm washes over me at his words. I peek up at him.

“Really?”

He smiles down at me. “Yes. But I don’t think being friends is going to work.”

He doesn’t look menacing when he says it, but my body goes stiff and the hope building inside me starts to flee.

“Oh …” I move to back away from him, but he holds me tighter to his chest.

“We aren’t kids anymore. There’s no way we can go back to the way things were. I wanted to try to be friends, but after that kiss in there … I don’t know if I can just be friends with you,” he admits. I let out a shaky breath and sag into him.

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